My son committed suicide 1/27--he was 25 years old

[vlyons]

16. I'm going to take a chance and say something

from a Buddhist perspective. You did not maintain self discipline over your speech. Your mind was afflicted with anger. Words can cause suffering or happiness. You realize this now. The question is: can you learn from this mistake and be more mindful of your speech going forward?

We cannot know the karma and mental formations that people bring from previous lives, or even previous times in the current life. You are not responsible for your son's depression in the first place. You are not responsible for his confusion. Were I in your place I would wish him the most auspicious rebirth possible and to be reborn into a loving family.

We Buddhists are taught to consider all sentient beings as having been our parent in a previous life. I don't know if reincarnation is true, but I am open to the possibility. I believe that we keep doing the same mistakes over and over until we gain enough wisdom and compassion to do otherwise. You might gain some peace of mind if you engaged in some altruistic activity for the benefit of others and dedicate the merit to your son. There are a plethora of good causes and activities to choose from. Maybe choose one that was near and dear to your son's heart.

Finally I'll leave you with a famous Buddhist scripture from the Damnmapada

All experience is preceded by mind
Led by mind
Created by mind
Speak or act with contaminated mind,
and suffering follows.
As the wheel of the wagon follows the hoof of the ox.

Speak or act with a peaceful mind,
and happiness follows.
Like a never departing shadow.