Bush to address the nation Friday night [View All]

[Elwood P Dowd]

Well, the weekend is almost here, the beer is cold, and Bush is still an idiot, so let's make up some Bushit speeches.




"My fellow amerkurns, Saddam Hussian has escaped. He has teamed up with al Kider and is digging up his Air Force planes and Weapons Of Mass Distruction as we speak. It is critical that we get my judges approved in the Senate. It is critical that we get Social Security reform passed. Otherwise, Saddam Hussian and his tearists will attack, and mushroom clouds will apear on the herrisen of amerkurn cities and towns."

"There have been no tearists attacks on amerkur since that fateful day when I read the Pet Goat story and then bravely went to Nubraskur to excess the damage. I bravely went back to New York and told you I was going to kill them guys who flew the planes into them buildings. Not one of them pilots is alive today."

"We also need that important free trade deal, CAFTA, passed. If congress doesn't act, Saddam and his murdering tearist will invade and konker Central Amerkur."

"So feller amerkurns, you must demand that Congress pass my laws and approve my judges if I am to protect you from Saddam and al kider. I hate you for your free.....I mean they hate you for your freedoms. They is in their caves with their cell phones prepared to attack. We must act now."

Thank you, and God bless amerkur.