Reply #28: Honestly? [View All]

[Toucano]

"...do you want to know right away or when you get home on Monday..."

I'd rather have what remains of my vacation undisturbed. Before you get too excited, there's a perfectly good rationale here.

First, my brother isn't getting any more dead. He'll be just as dead in 48 hours when I get home.

If he were in the process of dying, and by rushing home I might be able to look into his eyes one last time and hold his hand, and share some final words, then that would be different. Yes, I'd definately want to know in that case.

Different families handle things differently, I think. Your family's way is totally valid, but my family wouldn't even wake me up to tell me news like this. We'd figure you need your rest to cope with the grief that's coming soon enough, and the person is just as dead at 8:00 AM as they are at 2:00 AM.

Also, I think this is why you're not getting help from the authorities you've contacted. They're set up to handle emergencies, but you don't have an actual emergency for them to help you with. In an actual emergency, action can be taken that has an affect on the outcome.

You have my sympathy for your family's loss. It sounds like your mother-in-law is really going to need you when she gets home.