Should we stay or should we go? [View All]

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The role of gays in a straight world

In 2000, the notion that watching Queer as Folk would lead to deep thoughts was absured. QAF was an unapolgetically uber gay show. No sexless eunics these. Brian reacted to the trashing of his car by simply driving off and continuing to lead his hedonistic life.

Now, in its final year, the show is about nothing less than the role of gays and lesbians in a straight world. The insulated world of Liberty Avenue has been invaded by the very real forces of the straight world.

The simple fact is that like any minority gays and lesbians have to make a decision as to how much interaction with the straight world they wish to have. Do we lock ourselves in a gay ghetto where we work with gays and lesbians , live with gays and lesbians , play with gays and lesbians, and worship with them or do we live in predominately straight places, work with straights, play with straights, and worship with them. We also have to decide if we will be honest with those straights.

But now the decision is becoming even more extreme. For more than a few gays and lesbians the question is seriously being asked; do we stay or do we go? A combination of nearby Canada joining the cutting edge of gay rights and a very real fear about the future of the US is starting a conversation among gays and lesbians of should we stay or should we go.

When Bush was installed in 2000, though we lost the political power we had under Clinton we could honestly cast it as an abberation and an illegitimate power grab. Not only did Gore win more popular votes than Bush, a strong case can be made that Bush stole Florida in order to eek out the technical win he ended up with.

But then 2004 happened. Not only did we lose 11 referenda by mostly large margins, Bush rode back into the White House in part on the skillful use of anti gay bigotry. But wait, it gets worse, Dean may well have lost the primaries due to his courageously discussing gay rights. No less than Bill Clinton called Iowans telling them that Dean was unfit for the Presidency due to his signing Civil Unions legislation. By any measure, 2004 was an unmitigated disaster for gays and lesbians.

Using the standard number of 6% of LGBT voters and assuming a 9 to 1 split, the 61% of Ohioans who voted for the amendment banning any recognition of relationships outside of marriage, ends up being close to 65% of straight Ohioans. It is pretty hard to imagine more of message that we don't have much of a role in straight society. I often wondered what African American Lousianians felt after David Duke narrowly lost his race for Senate despite the fact that 2 out of 3 white Lousianians voted for him. I don't have to wonder anymore.

I have always taken the assimulationists side in the debate on the roles of gays and lesbians in straight society. I would miss my family too much to retreat to some gay ghetto and never let them in. So I told them about myself and moved back to my hometown. The meltdown of the economy forced me to move elsewhere but I took the assimulationist route again. I live in a small town but go to a gay friendly church with both straights and gays. I have some gay friends and many straight ones. That is the way I choose to lead my life.

I have no intentions of leaving my town, much less my country, right now. But I am certainly deciding to become more able to leave if I need to. The simple fact is that we are at a turning point. I would like to think that we are on the winning side of history here. But the signs, at least the ones that are most immediate, aren't all that good.

Our opponents are emboldened in a way that is evident all around us. They are taking on Ford and Kraft. They already caused the mighty Gates to cower. TV is rapidly becoming berefit of gay and lesbian characters yet again. On HBO, Six Feet Under is in its last season, on Showtime QAF is in its last season, NBC is probably going to cancel Will and Grace after next year. None of that would be so bad if there were replacements ready but there appear to be none. Only the L word will be left. The United Church of Christ can't run ads which all but subliminally tout their acceptence of gays and lesbians, but Focus on the Family can sponser Super Nanny. All the while our opponents have the unmitigated gaul to whine that they are the victims of discrimination.

Things are certain to change in the next few years. But the direction of that change is far from certain. Remember Colorado Issue 2. We won that fight in the Romer case or we would have had literally dozens of states banning any entity within them from granting gay and lesbian citizens rights.

The 1970's were pretty good years for gays and lesbians. They saw our first elected officials, our first gay rights laws, and the bare beginnings of cultural acceptance. Then the 1980's came and much of that was reversed or atleast stalled. Then we had the gay 1990's. They saw an unparalled acceptence of gays as a part of the fabric of this country. It is still too early to categorize the 2000's. After all, it is the decade of Lawerence, civil unions, and marriage. But it is also the decade of Bush, Roberts, and anti gay referenda.

In the final analysis, gays and lesbians, like any other minority, only have so much say of the role they get in society. So to the straights out there, do we stay or do we go?