Reply #36: Agreed, lukasahero. I'm a guy, and the longer the... [View All]

[jswordy]

...relationship lasts, the more important all the "other stuff" becomes. Let's face it, if sex was the most important thing, NO ONE would ever stay together, cuz it is way simpler, easier and less entangling and encumbering to just masturbate.

No, it's the other stuff that really counts. Like having her take care of me while I'm terrible ugly yucky sick, and me doing the same for her. Or just knowing she will listen to me yack on and on about things I am interested in, even though she is not...and I do the same for her. Sometimes, it is just knowing someone else will be at home tonight besides just myself.

The longer we are together, the less important sex becomes in terms of being the "be all and end-all" of the relationship. Of course, sex has lost its urgency as we are both middle-aged now and have been together for 25 years, so those are factors (and can be good things!). I would not expect an 18-y-o or even someone in their 20s to be able to see that, though, from where they are now.

Someone once told me sex is how we get hooked into first making a relationship, and then all the other stuff is why we make a relationship LAST. Works for me. But then, I chose to be with my wife for a huge array of stuff that was not sexual, too.

It has been my personal experience that relationships begun solely on "great sex" usually do not last unless other factors come into play fairly quickly.