Reply #8: I think the answer lies in your statement [View All]

[TalkingDog]

"She was the first neighbor here in the suburbs who really trusted me...."

This is meant as a potential explanation of G'ma's thinking....

Adults who are "well-adjusted" usually bond socially with people their own age first, then to others in the social circle. The fact that you have an immediate and obvious connection with a 5 year old might speak to personal issues you have as a physically mature adult.

Now, I'm shy myself. I always have been. I bond with critters and children long before I bond with adults. This, in addition to my natually shy nature, is because as a child the idea that adults are not very trustworthy or kind was reinforced again and again.

When I'm under the stress of meeting new people, I will sometimes regress to that mindset. Being conscious of that reaction helps me to be aware of the reality of the situation versus my instinctual protection response.

So, my advice. Be nice to granny and the parents. Gain footing as an adult equal. Talk about your nieces, how much you like them, how much you like their company and why.

DON'T go out of your way to be too nice or sweet to grans. She will see that as an attempt to butter her up (because she has you sussed, ya' know?)

Good luck.