Reply #70: It's actually really interesting that you said this [View All]

[Cadence]

because I'm dealing with a similar problem. I'm trying to heal from extreme violence in childhood. My parents used to stand me in the garage, pour gas on me and threaten to burn me alive if I ever told.

Which made it really difficult to go to school and learn because my brain was constantly on high alert trying to block new information or experiences for survival. Which is back-wards for most people. So lately, as I have been dealing with putting my narrative in place and the flashbacks, I can tell my brain is reorganizing and there are things like "visualizing words" that aren't working.
So it was ironic that the guy up above called me illiterate and incompetent for the very thing that I have struggled with. Because at age 8, when the abuse was really bad, that's when we were learning contractions and I had a hard time putting it into the visual part of my brain. I completely understand and know the correct usage. I put myself through college and have been very successful career wise there just comes a point where, if you want to heal, you have to allow some things to be broken or offline for awhile. If people don't understand or make you feel stupid. Fuck 'em.

I know, people that haven't endured extreme trauma have no idea what it's like or what consequences you are left with in your body, beliefs and brain function but I do understand. Focus on what you CAN do and the more you practice the learning or memory functions the stronger those neuronal connections will become. :hug: