DU parents: help out my "parenting" "instincts" [View All]

[Robb]

Many of you know my new domestic partner (!) has a teenage daughter. I'm not dad, of course, but I realized early on that no matter what I do, I'm bound to have an influence on the kiddo. So I've been monitoring myself these past few months pretty carefully, taking my interactions with her seriously.

Anyhow. So Christmas came and went, and the daughter was misbehaving -- mostly typical teenager stuff, some lying about where she was, mouthing off, selfish actions, nothing real heavy. She had a heck of a pile of loot on the 25th, regardless. Mom decided not to give her something she's been wanting, a pass to the local pool. It's expensive and desirable, since the teenage set hangs out there quite a bit.

But money was tight, and mom was pretty ticked off at her, so the investment wasn't made.

Now, in light of the guy who's selling his "bad" kids' gifts on eBay, I've been pondering this a bit. What we've done is just not bought that gift, not dangled it over her head, not said "you've been naughy so you don't get it" etc., just not bought it. My gut tells me that's the right move, and of course what mom says goes; but am I missing out on some kind of lesson-learning moment here? Is there something to be taught about actions and consequences? :shrug: