Reply #26: well, as my mom says -- "just be happy you don't have to live with them" [View All]

[Lisa]

It would be great if the people we admire were all-round perfect, but unfortunately it just ain't so. For example, I have met plenty of scientists whose work I really admired, but who turned out to be super-aggressive, snarky, impatient, obnoxious types.

I was on the verge of giving up and just thinking, "maybe that's WHY they're such top-notch researchers" when I met a couple of people (Lisa Graumlich and Ed Johnson) who were very nice, and totally humble. And then I realized that it's possible to do good work and be a pretty cool person at the same time (and not get swollen-headed about it).

I imagine it's probably similar with artists, writers, doctors, and anybody else ... some really nasty pieces of work, and plenty of normal human types who were just having a bad day when you met them. I have been on book tours and really they don't put a writer in a receptive mood to hobnob with fans, so I tend to cut celebrities a bit of slack based on my own observations! Sometimes they can be really lonely people, because they can never be sure whether folks are being nice to them for their own sake, or for ulterior motives. It can make people really paranoid and arrogant.

And there will also be some terrific people who are just a joy to meet. Those are the ones who make it all worthwhile. I have exchanged letters with an author whom I really admired when I was growing up (Carol Kendall in Lawrence, Kansas) -- and this year, when she found out I had finally gotten my degree, she sent a wonderful handmade Congratulations! card. I burst into tears when I got it, I was so amazed.

You can still like to read someone's work even if you had a bad experience ... although you may notice, from now on, that the characterizations may have a rather nasty edge to them that you didn't see before, or that you aren't entirely satisfied with the way in which s/he has chosen to tell the story ...