"There's no more BOOB & LUBE" [View All]

[Elidor]

One-stop BOOB & LUBE: Pizza/Lube Adult Entertainment and Laundromat

I’d forgotten all about this until the story hit the local papers, and it’s a fucking riot. About a year ago, this guy, this hillbilly redneck idiot, takes out a series of ads with our paper for his – I shit you not – One Stop Pizzeria, Express Lube and Laundromat. This is a shack out in the middle of nowhere on a two-lane highway between two of the sleepiest little backwoods towns in Tennessee, Baxter and Gainesboro. I wish to god I still had a graphic of his ad. It was simply indescribable: in addition to the pizzeria and oil and lube, there was a tanning salon (ONLY $29.95 per month!) and full service laundromat. But our entrepreneur was just getting started...

Shortly after his ads ran, we got word that he had opened a strip-club – first the “One Stop Gentleman's Club and Sports Bar” and later the “Costa Rican Beach Club” - on the premises. To put this into some sort of context, you have to realize that there are only about a thousand households in all of Baxter. People around there expect to see deer and wild turkey, not wayward titty-bars popping up in the woods like crack-ho’s from some dank corner of Nashville.

The main act consists of his Brazilian wife, fresh from her stint as cashier at the Pizzeria and Oil Change place (for all I know, she changes the oil, too), now swinging her titty-tassels for the occasional traumatized soul who wanders in looking for an oil change or to do his laundry.

The story in today’s news is a comic gold mine:

Because he opened the club at nearly the same time that the county adopted the Adult/Oriented Establishment Registration Act, Flatt said it was legal because no adult entertainment codes were actually in place when he opened, while the county said that the Adult Registration Act was in place before Flatt opened the Costa Rican Beach Club and it fell under the authority of the Act.

The county took Flatt to court for a decision on the matter.

"This is killing my business because the girls have to wear bikinis," he said. "There's more skin shown on HBO than in my place."

In March he told the Herald-Citizen that he was going to close the businesses and hold a public auction in April.

But today Flatt said that no one showed up at the auction and he decided to reopen the One Stop Market and the new Club 56. He closed the One-Stop Lube shop.

"There's no more boob and lube," he said. "I did hate that name but that's what everybody called it."

He says now that he has plans for expanding Club 56 to include a dance floor.

"People can come there to have music, food and fun. If they want to eat and dance they can, if they decide they'd like to watch the girls they can just walk to the show."

Full story at the Cookeville Herald-Citizen:
http://tinyurl.com/c5ur8