A rant against people who don't have kids in grocery stores!!! [View All]

[jobycom]

:mad:

So, yesterday I took my sextuplets to Walmart to buy some Pringles, some beer, and a Girls Gone Wild Video. I don't watch them myself, but I want to teach the girls how to dress when they turn thirteen.

Well, the girls were in one of those moods, the way girls are sometimes. Talk about girls gone wild! They wanted to play. They were running through the store, tipping over makeup displays and eating those donuts the store leaves in those little taped boxes near the front of the store. Those kids aren't thin, and it's hard to maintain that weight without those "free" samples, you know what I mean?

Anyway, this skinny little tart of a woman glared at me! She glared!!! I mean, this woman must have been, like, maybe 160 lbs, and about five foot nothing. Who can be that skinny if they aren't on crack, I ask you? She was all dolled up in her Rosanne Barr designer dress, with that hot red lipstick making her lips all puffy and wide. She was pretty hot! But I didn't make the moves on her because she glared like I had just mowed over her cat or something. On of my kids had thrown some pudding at her, and a little bitty bit of it got on her. Just like, maybe, a cup or two! I think it was pudding.

But anyway, I had had enough. Damned arrogant skinny little babe, probably voted for Kerry, who never tried to raise a kid in her life, and there she is glaring at me and my six daughters for having a little fun! I had E.N.O.U.G.H.!!! So I yanked my Hulk Hogan shirt down as much as I could over my belly, hitched up my britches, and stormed over to her.

"You got a problem, Commie!" I screamed at her, loud enough for half the store to hear. Everybody got quiet. I could see some kid in a Walmart apron looking at us, like he wanted to come over and say something, but he just hung back. He knew better than to risk his career over this. Ain't nothing as bad as a mad NASCAR dad!

That woman ain't never seen that much man that close to her, I tell you! She started quaking in her boots, she was so turned on! Her face got almost as red as her top of the line K-mart lipstick. She just shook her head and backed away and started crying.

I showed her!

After that, I had to hit three of the girls because they got peanut butter on my blue jeans. I haven't washed them in six months, and I sure didn't want to have to tonight. You can't really see it much, though, so I probably can wait a little longer. They're my only pair, so I have to run around in my undies when I wash them. It's even worse when I wash my undies.

Anyway, Walmart just ain't what it used to be. And whatever happened to manners, and responsibility? It's all that money the government gives to all them black people in New Orleans, that's why no one has any manners, anymore. Damn commies.

So I paid for my beer and crate of Pringles, and bought a bottle of vitamins, and my food stamps were gone. I don't know what I'll eat tomorrow. If the government doesn't get me my disability check soon, I might have to get a job. And I'm sick of Walmart's attitude. All upscale and everything. If they didn't have all those free samples my kids keep digging up, it wouldn't even be worth the trip.

So don't go to Walmart unless you have kids, because you're just annoying. But if anyone sees that woman, get her number, cause that lipstick was hot. I had to come back here to Free Republic to tell everyone about that damn commie, just in case someone knows her.