Reply #5: Dear Confused: Perhaps I can explain it to you . . . [View All]

[beaconess]

You aren't the bad guys. You're just being forced to share the pie you've had all to yourself until recently.

You're not a victim. And that "I didn't own slaves, so why do I have to . . .?" argument just doesn't hold water. You didn't do a damned thing to build this country either (since you weren't around then), but you probably have no problem enjoying the fruits of the labor of the Founding Fathers and those who helped make this country what it is today.

This country was built on the backs and lives and deaths of African Americans who got next to nothing in the bargain and were forced, generation after generation after generation, to watch White men (and women) reap enormous advantage that was then passed on to their children and their children's children to the point that White folk just accepted the privilege they didn't earn as the way the world is supposed to be. The advantages that have been passed on to Whites - regardless of class or economic status - are now so deeply engrained that many Whites don't seem to even realize that it's there - they just think it's their due.

This country has never been a meritocracy. And that has always been accepted by most people. I don't see White men bitching and moaning when undeserving Whites get special preferences in college and employment and business and politics - legacies, good-ole boy networks, geographic preferences, family connections, etc. But as soon as it appears that a Black person may have gotten some additional consideration (whether they have or not - usually just their presence in the classroom or office is enough to lead some Whites to assume they don't deserve to be there), all hell breaks loose and some White folks start screaming about "reverse discrimination" and reminding everyone within earshot that they never personally lynched anyone or made any Black person give up their seat on the bus, so why should they "suffer" now!?

Well, I don't buy it. That argument is based on an assumption - infused in White folks for centuries in this country - that while life isn't fair and the playing field isn't even, White people will always have a floor below which they cannot fall. And below that floor will always be someone whom they can look down on and feel superior to - i.e., Black folk. That explains why, despite all of the other abject unfairness in this society that results in all manner of less qualified White people taking spots from other, more qualified Whites (most of which is met with complete silence and acceptance by Whites) when it appears that it might be even remotely possible that a BLACK person has filled a spot a White person thought THEY should have, that White person starts hollering about reverse discrimination, blah blah blah. Yet, they wouldn't have uttered a peep if another White person - no matter how unqualified - ended up in that spot since, after all (shrug), life's not fair and that's just the breaks. In other words, the attitude seems to be, "I know life isn't fair and that I'm not going to get everything I want. But at least I'm supposed to always do better than YOU!"

So, don't expect to cow or guilt-trip people into backing off of their support for affirmative action because some White men don't want to give up some of their exclusive privilege. It is just one, small way to start trying to level America's playing field. And since it opens up the field of opportunity to more people who were previously kept out, that means that some other folks will be squeezed out. There are now more people competing and if some White folks can't keep up and hold their own when there's real competition, them's the breaks.

And as for your concern about not being able to use the vocabulary taught in your youth, don't worry about it. You have every right to say whatever you damned well please. The only difference is that, unlike in the past, your more offensive vocabulary will not go unchallenged. Say what you like, but if it offends other people, they're not going to keep their mouths shut to make you more comfortable. Deal with it.