Reply #62: Please pardon the lateness of my reply. [View All]

[Raineyb]

I wanted to give you a thoughtful and cogent answer to your question without the usual level of snark which I have been known to insert into replies. You took time to ask a question rather than assume that you know how we should think and then make accusations of bigotry which frankly is why I stay far away from most GLBT discussions. I felt the answer you receive should at least have had more effort put into it than the usual.

Let me preface my remarks with this: I believe in marriage equality. The government should not be allowing marriages for some but not others. As a secular nation it is unacceptable that we allow religion to impose its sensibilities on our laws. I could care less if the church refuses to accept or perform gay marriages but the City Hall of any town has no business saying denying marriage licenses to anyone who is of age and eligible (ie not married to someone else) Marriage in our society conveys certain benefits and to keep citizens from being able to enjoy those benefits when they clearly are willing to take the accompanying responsibilities is unconscionable. As to our military, they take orders from our civilian government. To argue that our service men and women cannot handle serving with homosexuals does a disservice to those who serve who I assume are more mature than a bunch of college frat boys and those who are not will either come correct or get their asses booted out. However, the way people use the history of struggle in the black community to make their points vis-a-vis gay rights is frankly offensive.

Far too often the reference to the black community is used as a throwaway line. It is flippant and when an objection is made the first accusation is that of bigotry. I cannot speak for all but this pisses me off. People died to get the modicum of civil consideration we have now. Respect for that is warranted. You don't hear people saying flippantly "get in the oven" They wouldn't dare because people on this board have learned enough about the Holocaust not to be so flip. Yet they throw the term "get to the back of the bus" or "broom jumping" as was the case in another thread with no thought whatsoever as to how disrespectful it sounds.

What's worse, it seems to minimize what is still going on in this country with black people at this time which shows a great deal of ignorance o the part of many around here as to what still needs to be done. So when someone takes umbrage with the lax language the other retort is "Oh, so you got yours so fuck you! Is that it?" No that's not it? And when did I get mine anyway? A black off-duty cop was just shot dead in the street by his fellow NYPD officers. (Apparently, even after going to work at the same place day after day you still can't be recognized out of uniform by people who are supposed to be your colleagues.) Stories are coming out about how Wells Fargo targeted black and brown people with sub-prime loans apparently because they could make more money selling loans that are designed to go bad than to sell loans that people can pay back. The police target people who look like me, the media loves to portray people
It feels like black struggle (not unlike black culture) is co-opted by some whites but then the respect that would come from an understanding and an appreciation of the struggle is just not there. So it feels not unlike the music world when a record would sell if you put a white face on it while it was black people who came up with it in the first place.

I don't really want to pick on the GLBT community on this though because the uber-feminists on this board do the exact same thing and frankly it pisses me off more than when GLBT community does it. It's as though white women seem not to understand that 1. the greatest beneficiaries of affirmative action were white women (because if you have to hire women or those black folks which would you rather do if you were a bigot?) and 2. The feminist community has it's own problems with race. They are quick to want black women to be in solidarity with them but when it comes to our issues they don't really want to listen. They prefer scolding and dictating and that's just not cool If you look out there at the black and brown feminist blogs you'll see what I mean. (And frankly I just find the notion of the word "bitch" being a slur on par with the "n" word ridiculous.)

The struggles are similar but there needs to be an acknowledgment of the differences otherwise it just feels like yet another white co-opting of something black to use for their own purposes and who doesn't get tired of people who'll listen when they think you're cool but when you need help suddenly don't know who the hell you are?

Regards