Reply #70: This sounds a lot like my aunt and uncle's relationship. [View All]

[InvisibleTouch]

They're both among my favorite relatives, but my aunt sounds a lot like your wife, unable to control her emotions and quick to resort to screaming, hitting, and throwing things when she gets set off - and she got worse over the years. My uncle wanted peace and just let her rampage until she settled down again. Like you, I suspect he also didn't want to break up his family (they have 3 kids), so he just endured. The upshot is, he's had cancer twice now from all the stress, and that's what it finally took for him to realize he had to get out of the relationship, after 30 years, because it was literally killing him. It was a messy divorce, I won't lie to you, but he's much happier now. And you know what - my aunt is happier too. It's unlikely she'll find someone else who allows himself to be treated the way she treated my uncle, which means she has to get control of herself, and that's been good for her. Finally, all three kids were fully in support of the divorce, though they love both their parents. They asked their dad why he hadn't left sooner.

My advice to anyone, male or female, is not to let yourself be treated with disrespect. One should never need another person so badly that you subjugate yourself. You need to safeguard yourself, but also consider the example you're setting for your kids. You want to teach them by example to stand up for themselves and not to allow themselves to be mistreated.

Good luck to you.