Ever wanted to ask 'Why?' realizing you would never get an answer? [View All]

[The Straight Story]

As I have mentioned before my son is in the military, and will be shipping off to war soon.

But that is not what this OP is about (ie, is not about Obama/policy/war etc). But I think it has some relevance to it all which is why I mentioned it (and will refer to it later).

I spent about an hour on the phone with my son last night. I had not seen them for 8 years (3 sons) after I split with my x (initially I did, then she got remarried and it all went to hell).

Last night he said he wishes his mom was alive so he could ask her 'why'. Why she cut me out of the picture, why she lied and told them when they were little boys I never wanted to see them again, why she let some controlling ass abuse him all the while he (my son) was trying to help his mom out as she got sicker and sicker (and eventually died in 2005).

He is 23 tomorrow, has two kids he loves dearly, and has all the worries that come with being a young parent - same as his mom and I did.

He joined the military to better provide for those kids. It scares him at times, but he is dedicated to doing his job (this last week he was out in the heat picking grass out of rocks as part of a beautification project, then training next week, then shipping off to war). He is willing to do whatever it takes to be able to provide for his kids and make sure they have what they need.

Which is why he so wants to ask her 'Why?'. And he cannot now.

Her actions led those kids down a path they never asked to be on. Now my youngest has joined the army as well (Ships out next month) and my middle aged son is lost somewhere in the middle and clinging to religion to give him answers to questions he probably does not even realize he has.

And I find myself, at times, in the same situation. wanting to ask why and realizing I won't ever get an answer to it. Whether it be from my X or certain politicians.

He asks why, and I have no answers except when they relate to me and my own actions.

And now, as before, I ask why when it comes to wars and building up troops and putting them in harm's way.

Why are we doing it? Who are we saving? What threat are we protecting ourselves from? If the terrorists are here in the US why are we there instead of more of our troops being here?

We put our kids in harm's way, and then make excuses as to why it is ok. My X had her own rationale for it all. And now our politicians do as well.

Maybe she was trying to save her marriage, herself, whatever. But wrong is still wrong.

In the end, whatever war she was fighting ended up hurting the very kids she wanted to protect.

And in the end here, whatever wars we are fighting have ended up hurting a lot more of our kids and loved ones.

Politicians, like my X, are trying hard to please those paying the bills. But in so doing they forgot about those that they are trying to protect in a misguided effort.

I got all that when bush was in power. And I still get it.

Want to save our kids and fellow citizens? Then end the wars that are costing them their lives and put those defense contractors and oil mongers in their place.

Otherwise, all you are doing is enabling the same behaviors we see time and again.

Which leaves me to ask the same thing my son did. Why?

He will never get the answer he seeks. And I doubt we will either.