Reply #37: In group solidarity. [View All]

[Behind the Aegis]

I look at this from a linguistic point of view. There is a feature, called "in-group solidarity," which 'allows' for members of a target group to use words or descriptions that would not be allowed or desired by non-members of said group. When I was fist exposed to this concept, the example used was not with a "diversity" group, but with another type of group: family. I may call my mother a "bitch," jokingly or otherwise, but someone in my family would be best advised not to say that about my mother. This concept spreads out into groups where the speaker is also a member, in my case, gay, Jewish, Southern, among others.

I have found that African-Americans rarely use the word "nigger," unless they are using it as an insult. The more oft used word is the BEV dialectal version, "nigga." Though, the use of the latter can still get a non-AA in trouble. For someone who doesn't fall into the target group (AA) to use this word, in essence, requires two things, permission from those in the target group who are in proximity to the speaker and location. One's buds may 'approve' of the speaker using the word on occasion, but even their permission won't do much good in the middle of, let's say, a predominately AA bar.

It is similar in the gay community, at in my experience, to the use of the words "fag" and "faggot." Though words like "queer" and "queen" are more likely used and accepted within group, and even from "outsiders," the other two words carry very different meanings. "Fag" is usually used among friends, and even jokingly among gay strangers (as long as both speakers know the other is gay). "Fag hag" is one of the more common usages of the word and doesn't even describe a gay person, though I prefer the term "queer dear." Those people, by invitation, can generally use the words "queer" and "fag" with little recourse. "Faggot," on the other hand, IMO, is generally a put-down every time, no matter the sexual orientation of the speaker. It may occasionally be used in jest, but most seem to avoid it and go for the shortened version. Another pit-fall is the use along "sex" lines. A lesbian using the word "fag" may find herself in hot water, just as would a gay man using the word "dyke." This phenomena may be because there are actually two speaker groups, sexual orientation and sex. There are various rules regarding this, but I doubt anyone really wants to hear the entire breakdown.

In conclusion, using any word which one may find offensive, it is best to exercise caution out of respect for the audience and one's self.