Forget adding things to DU names. Take some stuff away from DU names.

[short bus president]

and then subtract the year you were born. Add the number of sardines in the typical European-market can, and multiply the result by the number of bones in a giraffe's front leg. Google the result. Now, pick the result that corresponds to the number of times you'd like to "do it" each week in an ideal world, and click. Delete every 4th letter in the url, and refresh the screen. What you come up with SHOULD BE an accurate reflection of your heart's desire. Or "blah blah blah could not be found."

Try it! It works!

[Bok_Tukalo]

1. 42

<eom>

[short bus president]

8. hitchhikercat!

:P

[Bok_Tukalo]

9. I admit it. I sometimes use the word "Belgium" as a swear

and it is in no way artistic.

[Beware the Beast Man]

2. Mine becomes spatulaporn44turkeyslapper

[short bus president]

5. You've been hanging out with Velma too much...

;-)

[SOteric]

3. Ut oh.

[short bus president]

7. *snarf*

you really ARE from Alabama!

[Cannikin]

4. just because I'm from AR, its not "Can-I-Kin?"!!

[short bus president]

10. Cannikin, meet SOteric; SOteric, meet Cannikin!

You guys were the first two with the bestiality and incest references, so you both qualify for the grand prize:

Front row center seats to a virtuoso banjo concert in the lovely and scenic backwoods of Tennessee!

[SarahB]

6. I will beat you with my fish.

[short bus president]

11. Forgive me for saying so, but

that sounds like the opening line to ONE HELLUVA Dr. Seuss rhyme...

[RetroLounge]

12. ThroatWarblerMangrove

RL

[short bus president]

13. PERVERT!!!

:P