What is your relationship with your penis (serious quesiton)

[HEyHEY]

Society in general associates men to the penis in an almost relentless way. Every thing a man does is blamed on his pecker.
So, how is your relationship with yours?

For me, it's one of mystery, I really don't understand my penis. It's almost like my penis is that one really cool friend from highschool, that you wish you were like, but can't figure out HOW to be like.
Then there's other days, where I want to scream at it, "GET OFF MY BODY YOU PREDOMINANTLY FLACID WASTE OF SKIN!"

Then there's days when we're cool. Just me and my penis chillin', watching a hockey game, sharing a joke at the expense of my testicles.

But for the most part, sometimes it feels like it has a life of its own, and it creeps me out that something with its own life is attached to me.

So, you?

[Skink]

1. With age it's kind of touch and go.

[benburch]

2. No relationship!

Sheesh! Just no-strings SEX!

Next thing you'll be expecting me to buy it candy.

[Kathleen04]

3. I have a good relationship

with my non-existant penis.

[evlbstrd]

4. I'm very attached to mine.

[MalibuChloe]

5. i am a girl, but...

:popcorn:

[RevCheesehead]

13. Yeah, lots of possibilities here....

Pass the popcorn, wouldya? :popcorn:

[Elidor]

6. You have neglected your penis

You need to re-establish your relationship with it. Take your penis out to dinner. Take it for walks in the park. Have meaningful conversations with your penis. Relate new social phenomena to your penis. A man cannot let his penis become a stranger. It's a part of you. Pay attention to it. Let it out for air. Introduce it to your neighbors and your friends.

[LastKnight]

7. this is possibly the oddest thread ive ever seen.

but yet strangley entertaining.

on edit: to anwser the original question, very well... thank you...

[Madrone]

19. I concur.

100%. on all counts.


on edit: well, except in relation to the original question... of course...


I'm with the girls further up thread on this.


:popcorn:

[In_The_Wind]

8. wonderful

as soon as I locate it


MY penis must be somewhere ... out there

[WCGreen]

10. Somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light....

Some where there's a penis
That wil make Joan
Fe el All
Right...........


Sorry, I couldn't resist.....

:evilgrin: :woohoo: :evilgrin:

[In_The_Wind]

15. oh lordie

are we going for 'Md/Nr' two nights in a row ...



Jezabelle AKA Joani Von Teese wants to know ...

[WCGreen]

32. Snicks and grins baby Snicks and grins......

Love to hear you laugh

[In_The_Wind]

37. It Is The Only Way !

to fly

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :spray:

[tridim]

9. I'm having a King Missile flashback

Detachable penis..
NUH uh uh uh, NUH uh uh uh, NUH uh uh uh..

[Wapsie B]

11. I'm very considerate of my penis.

We have a very close relationship with each other. We have this understanding. ;-)

[Hotler]

12. Doing good! Got his learners permit the other day and ..

let I let him drive home.

[ForrestGump]

39. Just don't let him get cocky

It's dangerous to drive with that kind of attitude.

[Spinzonner]

14. It has an inflated ego

and things are always going to its head

[ForrestGump]

31. Inflated?

Is this yours?

[ForrestGump]

16. Symbiotic

You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.

It's been getting restless lately...been so long since we took it to see its other half....

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Entertaining

threads like this make Friday nights more interesting. :popcorn:

[Akoto]

18. Well, somewhat jerky, but generally amiable.

:evilgrin:

[gardenista]

20. Well, not being the "owner" of one, I generally share the kind of

relationship with the penis(es) I have known with the oft quoted aunts and uncles of adorable, rowdy, curious children.

"I love them when they're here, but, whew, it's a good thing they're not mine."

Frankly, after a while, I just don't know what else to do with them!

[LostInAnomie]

21. I feel that mine is a massive burden...

... and I do mean MASSIVE.

But hell, it pays the bills I guess. ;)

[Jamastiene]

28. LOL

Words escape me. :rofl:

[Jamastiene]

22. Don't have one, but I sure wish I did.

I believe it would be a pet.

Btw, I love your picture of the penguin sneaking up behind the sleeping polar bear. LOL.

[RevCheesehead]

24. I like the penguin with the purse.

It's like a Tinky-Winky wanna-be. :)

[Jamastiene]

33. Don't let Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson see it.

They'll swear up and down the penguin is gay and demand they become an endangered species. :tinfoilhat:

[yvr girl]

23. I've borrowed one on occasion

But I don't have my own.

[Wetzelbill]

27. LOL

:rofl:

Thank Marquez you don't own one. Those things rule your life. Honest. :)

[ForrestGump]

29. No, I can't say it

I'm not using mine, but offering to lend it to someone I don't know is just plain wrong...I mean, it's not the '70s, you know. :o

[Wetzelbill]

25. I'll have to think long and hard on this one....long and hard I said!

Whenever he gets out of line and starts trying to tell me what to do, I jerk that fucker around a little and everything gets back to normal. :evilgrin:

[yewberry]

26. Must... not... recommend... for... Greatest... Page...

Hoo, this is a struggle.

[iconoclastic cat]

30. Mine's like the drunken friend who always gets you into trouble.

It wasn't until my penis relented to my will that I was able to get things under control. I mean, I actually went celibate for a year, just to clean my brain out. Good thing, too, because the person who broke that celibacy is now a very, very pregnant Mrs. IconCat.

[leftofthedial]

34. he's my best little buddy

sometimes he's hard to deal with.

[DS1]

35. My penis is always the first to arrive

It's like having my own Flight Attendant. The fucker gets somewhere a minute before me, and he's going "Welcome to Framingham, the chicks are this way"..

:hide:

[Tom Kitten]

36. to be series, my penis is HUGH!!!1

I don't even understand it myself, it can be a real prick sometimes...

[WCGreen]

38. Recommended.....

Just to keep things exciting on the front page.....

[Yellow_Dog]

40. Due to a design flaw....

males only have enough blood to think with one head at a time, so one of us is usually not paying attention when the other is errrr.... functional. I leave notes asking that it doesn't get me into too much trouble, when its turn to get the blood supply.

[Nothing Without Hope]

41. I see them as playful and innocently single-minded, with individual

"personalities" and powerful powers of persuasion for their proprietors. There are a number of famous men - especially those of the neocon persuasion - that I can't imagine having an actual, real penis. And if I try, I find I'm better off assuming they don't. :scared: They don't deserve one, anyway.

[Moderator]

42. locking

sex thread