Bankers to be given bonuses for their performance in receiving bonuses

[dipsydoodle]

The government has admitted defeat in its attempts to curb excessive bank bonuses, after financial organisations decided to award bonuses solely based on the ability of their employees to receive bonuses.

The best the coalition can hope for is a declaration from the banks that they will pay out less than they would have without the government pretending that they have any say in the matter whatsoever.

A government spokesperson said, “We tried to limit bonuses based on a banks poor financial performance, but then they decided to give bonuses for something else entirely.”

“They simply changed bonus qualification from one thing they’re really good at – losing your money – to something else their really good at – putting your money in their pockets.”

http://newsthump.com/2011/01/07/bankers-to-be-given-bonuses-for-their-performance-in-receiving-bonuses/