Pirates Acquire Lee, Ludwick To Bolster 2nd-Half Collapse

[El Supremo]

PITTSBURGH—In order to deepen some holes in their lineup and increase their chances of a second-half collapse, the Pittsburgh Pirates acquired first baseman Derrek Lee and outfielder Ryan Ludwick Sunday. “They’re both experienced losers who we’re hoping will come in here and help us surge right to the bottom of the NL Central,” Pirates general manager Neal Huntington said in a statement, adding that after six ten consecutive losses, the team is now poised to make a last-place run. “Not only do we think they’ll take our offense and defense to a whole new level of horrible, but overall, I think this will prove to Pirate fans that this team is committed to losing for years to come.” Huntington reportedly urged young players not to rely on their new stars, emphasizing that a successful nosedive would require everyone to play like shit.

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/pirates-acquire-lee-ludwick-to-bolster-2ndhalf-col,21073/

[KamaAina]

1. Oh no you di'int!

Cue MiM in 3... 2... 1... :nuke:

[El Supremo]

3. He's probably read it already.

I bet he was living in fear of this being linked here. x( Sorry, I'm a couple of days late.

And I bet mim is in transit back to Maryland. Or is it Canada?

[madinmaryland]

5. Heh! Unlike you, I stay faithful to my team. I'm off to the Pittsburgh are next

weekend, where I can see the Bucs next weekend!!

[El Supremo]

6. Get ready for the boos.

STATS LLC said, never before had a first-place team plunged 10 games back in a 13-day span.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

2. Insert any team+deal.

Funny.

[demguy72340]

4. this