Tom Yossarian Joad
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Fri Dec-30-05 11:55 PM
Original message |
|
She lies beneath the well heeled boot
Edited on Fri Dec-30-05 08:59 PM by Tom Yossarian Joad
The pressure cracks her ribs.
they are bigger
So much bigger.
Yet the rib cage still breaks in.
Somehow the air
Still grabs a note.
She fights within the diem.
Parts give in
and Parts stay strong.
It's a race to see who'll feed'em.
Fie hettle sprecken,
It's to see if they will live.
Sprecken hettle thettle hoe...
You kiss them all goodbye.
Thettler hettle sprecken tie.
It's now the time to die.
Say goodbye to two. to two hundred years.
Say goodbye to two.
to Your fathers.
Say goodbye to two.
to Children,
Say goodbye...
to...
Goodbye.
She cries to the Bush, the bird and the Roach, Letting her earth breath into her throat, Says goodbye to a life that once meant so much,
Yet now has faded become out
of touch.
end
To Mr. Bukowski and for DU
TYJ
|
petgoat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sat Dec-31-05 03:05 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Oh that's a laugh a minute. nm |
lapislzi
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Feb-23-06 09:05 AM
Response to Original message |
2. OK, I have some questions |
|
First, are these two poems?
Second, do you want an in-depth crit? PM me if yes. My credentials are that in addition to being a published author, I have taught writing and judged poetry competitions.
|
Tom Yossarian Joad
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Mar-06-06 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
|
Sure. I'd would very much appreciate your critique and suggestions. I have dabbled here and there myself. I'll PM you!
Thanks!
|
DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Wed May 01st 2024, 05:28 PM
Response to Original message |