How does this look?

[MrScorpio]

Prologue:

They called it THE FALL.

Most people thought that it was the end of the world as they knew it. Well, you can’t blame them for thinking that. Because in a way, it was the end of the very world that they’ve come to know and love. Of course, little did they know that it was actually the beginning of a grand new world. And as all new worlds are built on the shambles of the old, this new world was no exception.

The reasons for the upheaval were both simple and complex. In the purest essence of truth, The Fall came because of a loss of faith. Faith in the intricate fabric of civilization. Faith in government and faith in commerce. The politicians and the masters of finance who supported them became irrelevant. Scandal and bankruptcy had finally taken its toll, and the people had had enough of it. Too many young people had lost their precious lives in meaningless wars in foreign lands, and most of all loss of hope had blanketed the planet.

Global economic collapse of all the major governments cascaded like a massive tidal wave across the Earth. Markets finally buckled under the weight of massive government debt, malfeasance and excess. The burden of an aging population and decades of disease. wars, terror attacks and retaliation finally took their toll on the fragile body of international commerce and diplomacy and the poor and unprepared suffered horribly. Cities burned and scores of people were slaughtered in a bloody orgy of civil violence and despair.

Well, they can’t say that they weren’t warned.

The rich and powerful, who long ago secluded themselves within massive enclaves and were protected by private armies knew what was coming. They knew that the Fall would happen sometime during the middle of the Twenty-First Century, and they amassed enough wealth and power to protect themselves.

[petgoat]

1. You're a talented writer.

I'm not sure you need the first two paragraphs.

It would start more engagingly for me with


"The reasons for the upheaval were both simple and complex. In the purest essence of truth, THE FALL came...."

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear MrScorpio...

I agree with Petgoat...drop the first two paragaraphs. Those are full of cliches, and you don't need them.

Otherwise, it looks good!

:hi: