What about the Children that NO ONE Wants?

[bleedingheart]

Just yesterday I found out that my mother's neighbor got some devastating news. Mr. XX has a grandson who joined the Army to get some income so that he could marry his pregnant girlfriend and "make things" right. He married her, they had a baby and then he went on active duty ...he came back she got pregnant again...and so now they have a 2 year old and a 6 month old and he is back from another stint overseas to find out that the mother of the children "is tired of being a mommy" and she doesn't want him or the kids.

So....he is active duty for another 2-3 years and he has no way of caring for them so he asked his grandparents to take care of their great grandchildren because his own father is a drunken sot.

Now the Grandparents...my mom's neighbors are really nice people and unfortuntely some of their kids took paths that they weren't so pleased with...but that is life.

However they can't take the children and they are just distraught.

So now...what to do...?

So while people are worried about the babies that are aborted...what about the children that someone just decides they just don't want around anymore...cuz it just isn't fun anymore?

Personally I think that perhaps they would be a great pair for an open adoption to a couple with the desire to raise them...but then again some people wouldn't want both or the older child...which is even more pathetic.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. Let's see some asshole with a "Support the Troops and President Bush" ...

sticker on their rear windshield adopt the kids.

Oh wait, that's right, they won't, because they don't REALLY give a flying fuck.

[rodeodance]

2. they only care about mushy brains called 'life' or cells in a dish.

[Raiden]

15. That's probably NOT a good idea...

Do we really need to subject children to that cruelty?

[teenagebambam]

3. I would gladly...

....take both children, and in fact, ANY child that needed a loving home. But I'm gay, and we can't have that.

Seriously, surely there must be SOME provision in the armed services, if the father has sole custody of the children couldn't he get stateside duty?

[bleedingheart]

6. I have no idea what the military provides but I know that

some single mothers have been stationed in Iraq and their kids have been placed in foster care.

[AllegroRondo]

7. You can choose to get out of the Army as a single parent

unless they have changed the rules in the last few years.

Its a Chapter 13, honorable discharge.

[bleedingheart]

8. problem is that he doesn't have any skills for employment out of the

military.

Sadly he barely graduated from high school and was hoping to get himself straightened out and perhaps go to college or trade school after he finished his service.

I don't know his "side" in this story either...he may not be a real gem to live with either but nonetheless these kids should have a stable home.

[Warpy]

11. This army doesn't care about that

and think kids should go into foster care if the parents are needed to be targets in Iraq. I'm not kidding. I know a couple of these cases around here.

Family values, my ass.

[demo dutch]

4. A anyone hear of birth control?? Well too late for that, let me guess

"Red State family"??? This is exactly my argument about the pro-life movement! Why bring unwanted babies into to the world, and it happens ALL THE TIME!!! sorry but they're better off not being born!

Anyhow that of course doesn't solve this problem.

I generally think open adoption is a bad idea. Also many adoptive parents are hesitant to go that route for obvious reasons. "Special needs" children (in this case "Special Needs" only because there's two) are adopted all the time, agencies will try to keep them together. Since they're very young and (hopefully) not abused or have other problems, it shouldn't be too terribly difficult to find adoptive parents.

Isn't there a way some couple in the family can bridge the time while this guy is overseas? If not sounds to me that the grandparents have no choice if they really want to help the kids. But maybe they see the writing on the wall, and they're afraid "the dad" will not live up to his obligations either, and so they don't want to get sucked in to this mess. Let's face it he did it not once, but twice!

If that's the case as sad as it is, adoption is better for everyone.
Curious enough you're not mentioning the girl's parents. Where are they in this? Have they checked out as well?

[bleedingheart]

5. Not familiar with the entire story

but the girls family doesn't appear to be interested.

The interesting part is that this is a Blue State (PA)...The Grandparents are True Blue Dems with a Union background, their son, the DUI winner of the month is a republican (he is on electronic surveilliance currently) and his son is the one in the military ...registration unknown to me.

The grandparents are actually still taking care of one of their elderly parents and they are not in very good health to take on a 18 year task of raising two kids...

Oh I agree about birth control....but now these kids are here and something has to be done to help them get a better start in life than their own dad had.

[demo dutch]

9. Amazing, that the girl's parents aren't interested! The way the girl

act says something about the parents. Figures the DUI winner is a repug! and I take the guy's mom is nowhere to be found either! Neither one of them apparently informed the guy about the "Birds and the Bees". So history repeats itself!!

Anyhow, I am an adoptive parent myself and based on the limited facts, it seems to me, that, as sad as it sounds for the father, these 2 children are better off being adopted by a loving family as soon as possible. The sooner the better, while they're little, so they'll have few adjustment problems, terminate the parental rights , so everyone can move on! There are many adopted children that never feel the need of having to "find" their blood parents, and there are some that do. Not familiar with adoption law in PA. However if a couple is interested in keeping contact with the father, that could possibly work, not sure. It's all about the children and what's best for them. Nevermind the father at this point, sounds like, he's already screwed his life in several areas. Hopefully he'll consider what's best for them.

[bleedingheart]

10. this father of the kid has had a rough life

his parents were married, had three kids and then divorced. The mother took the girl and the boys were raised by the father...who has his own issues.

So in this case even his own mother doesn't want the grandchildren...which is just pathetic.

I too agree with you that it would be far better for them to be adopted by a family that would care for them rather than having them end up bouncing around foster care.

[Solly Mack]

12. Too bad he's not stationed in Germany, we have a foster program for kids

in that situation and other military families take the kids until the soldier can resume their parental duties. As long as he's deployed, the children would remain with a foster family, who promote continued ties with the parents who are deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. When the soldier comes off deployment, post child care takes over for soldier duty hours and the family has the chance to remain in tact.

Unfortunately, this isn't offered in the states.


Now, if there's any way to get the soldier stationed in Germany, I could help him keep his kids.

I hope some way is found for them to remain a family. He might try asking ACS if there are families available in his area to foster his kids for now. A solution might be found by working through ACS and local social services...it's been done before.

If not, let him know military families adopt in high numbers...and it's not because you get extra anything for number of kids either...because you don't. They do it for love of children.

I understand your point about unwanted children, the state foster programs are filled with them....but if I can help this one family, I'll be happy to try.

[all.of.me]

13. check your inbox

[friesianrider]

14. As long as they're born, no one cares.

Now if this child were not born yet, you can bet at least 10 Governors and 77 pro-life groups would care deeply.

But since the kid's already here, no one cares.