This is the kind of parenting stuff my aunt sends me...

[Ilsa]

She is in her early seventies and came from a middle European strict household. Anyway, I think it's really creepy, so I try not to respond, although I'm sure they think this is hilarious, I find it to be confrontational and divisive.


My son came
home from school one day
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better know as C.S.D."

Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?"


from a MOM (Mean Old Mother.)

May the good Lord be with you today and everyday. May he bless you and watch over you always.

[FourStarDemocrat]

1. That's a pretty vile poem..

It seems to be all about who's in control rather than communication and resolvement of conflicts. Very much an allegory of how the Repug rightwing christian-fascists operate.

[wildeyed]

2. That IS creepy.

You could compose something about putting your cranky old aunt in a home if she complains or act too domineering. Just a thought :evilgrin:

[Ilsa]

5. Fortunately, she lives hundreds of miles away from me, so it

isn't likely I'll have to do much for her long term care. She's had one major brain injury in the last few years, and recovered reasonably well, but she won't go near a kitchen to cook now. It's probably safer that way.

Mom's and Auntie's father was very strict, and I remember being afraid of him because he was so grouchy all of the time.

Still, she is my departed Mom's sister, so I treat her with lots of respect and love. Family meant everything to my mom, and auntie gets the benefit of that.

[SW FL Dem]

3. I've seen that several times,

usually from acquaintances with no kids.

[atommom]

4. Sound like the James Dobson school of parenting ... dominate

the child at all costs! :(

[rbnyc]

6. Notice how the poem has to use hyperbole...

"not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse."

Just one example of the poem having to distort and exaggerate in order to make its point.

That's because the threat is internal, not external.

VERY creepy. I'm so glad no one in my family is like this.