My head-strong child is driving me crazy.

[Ilsa]

He's only five. He thinks he runs the household, even though we are firm about mommy and daddy being the decision-makers. He thinks he is exempt from the rules, even though we enforce them with firmness and regularity. He also likes telling everyone else what to do, is insistent on getting his way, and he likes telling on his brother.

When he was younger, would get so mad (about nothing) that he couldn't breathe and we'd have to blow in his face. One time he actually passed out, he was so mad.

He's also alot of fun, very smart, very loving, and can be very independent when he isn't wanting someone else to do everything for him.

I guess he's a typical five-year-old.

Can you tell I've had a rough afternoon? (My autistic son was the well-behaved one today.)

[SCDem]

1. I feel for you

I am afraid of what I have in store for me. My son is only 13 months but is quite strong willed for his age. When I was his age I would cry to the point where I would throwup. My son has not done that yet so I should be happy. But at this young of an age he looks at me before he does something he knows he isn't supposed to do and kind of smiles at me and then does it. We'll see where this adventure called parenthood takes me!

Good luck with your strong willed son!

[trotsky]

2. Sounds like my son.

He is also 5 (almost 6) and can rage over the tiniest things, and it's just impossible to calm him down. Sometimes scratching his back works.

Same thing with doing tasks. He gets absolutely obsessed with doing something, but once he's done it, that's it, don't need to do it anymore, "you do it for me." Can be extremely frustrating for us!

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

3. My two year old son gets upset easily sometimes.

I'm not sure he'll be like that when he's 5. Who knows? Right now he's still learning to talk, so he has the usual terrible two fits. I think he gets upset mostly because he doesn't understand something or he can't express himself very well. He also gets upset when we interrupt his play to change his diaper, or put him to bed, or because we have to leave. He usually calms down if I give him a sippy cup. One time my husband pretended to drink our son's juice. He got real mad about that. Apparently, he thought daddy really did drink his juice.

[LibertyLover]

4. Sounds familiar

My two and half year old daughter can be that way too. She'll be fine and then all of a sudden, something sets her off and she is in the middle of a full blown temper tantrum complete with throwing herself on the ground, going limp and howling. I usually ignore it, but occassionally she has one in public and that is very difficult. I generally pick her up and cuddle her, although that drives my husband up a tree if he sees me doing it. Her favorite words are "no" and "mine". Sometimes if we tell her to stop doing something she will and sometimes its "no". She really hates it when her father and I hug or kiss. That really sets her off. I'm hoping it's just a phase.

[phylny]

5. Sounds like our middle daughter.

When she was 2-3 years old, she was this same way. We ended up going to our church's Samaritan Counseling Center for one visit. They gave us excellent strategies that worked very well.

She's now 16 and while she still has a pretty good temper and a short fuse sometimes, she's just wonderful all of the time.

[Ilsa]

6. Thanks everyone. It makes me feel better to know

I'm not the only one here with such a child. I wish this had stopped at age two. But he had an attitude as soon as we got home from the hospital. Like he thinks he's a little prince or something.

Oh, and that business of "I've mastered this task so I don't have to do it anymore," things like wiping one's butt, putting on socks, etc, is a real killer! "I can't want to!" must be his favorite line.

I think he's going to be in the principal's office alot for not following directions, smart talking the teacher, disturbing other kids, and exercising delay tactics all the time.

[fortyfeetunder]

7. Here is a book

Have you read "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurincka. I had a copy but gave it to a friend with whose kid was just like mine.

There are good days and there are the other days...My kid is a rebellious anarchist. He is 7 and cares not about doing well in school...However, he is obedient to the teacher and doesn't cause trouble. I am trying to figure out how to turn this around...