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Psychic on my windshield!

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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-27-09 01:35 AM
Original message
Psychic on my windshield!
So I've been back in the USA about 3 weeks now, from Egypt. Still adjusting to the culture shock, since I was over there for 3.5 years. Had not been back to Los Angeles since Sept. 2007.

Ah, but some things never change! The other day I went to the grocery store to stock up on all the good American nutrition I missed in Egypt (e.g., Hostess Sno-Balls).

When I came out, the following, in the form of a small, cheap flyer had been left on the windshield of the Amish Mustang. (My reward for NOT being able to drive in Egypt--an all-black 2008 convertible bought with 70--that's seventy--miles on it. No tape stripes, no emblems, no trim...just all black, including the interior. So I call it the Amish Mustang. Or the Convertible Hearse.)

Reproduced with spelling and punctu exactly as found:

Spiritual Psychic
--Tarot Card Reader
--Are You Worried, Troubled or Confused?
--I Can Help You In All Problems Of Life
--Specializing In Reuniting Loved Ones, With Guaranteed Results
--35 Years Experience
--98% Accuracy

Are You Facing Financial Difficulty And Need Advice & Guidance.

Do You Need To Know If Your'e In The Right Relationship And If This Is Your Right Soul Mate.


Editorial Comment: A-A-A-A-h-h-h!!! Jebus! Lose some CAPS and find some damn question marks!

My Vision And Psychic Ability Will Convince You In One Visit.

I Can Help You Where All Others Have Failed!!

Special Reading $10.00

CALL TODAY (XXX) XXX-XXXX

(One Free Question by Phone)


Logos for VISA/Mastercard

Maybe I'll call and ask my One Free Question: "Why are you leaving this crap on my windshield?"
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mr blur Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-27-09 03:07 AM
Response to Original message
1. I'd find the "98% Accuracy" worrying -
Personally, I demand a 100% guarantee.
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Djinn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-27-09 09:59 AM
Response to Original message
2. you'd think psychic should be able to "sense"
when they're about to stump for business to a skeptic and not bother.
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-27-09 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Thats true!
Any psychic that solicits ONAGER of all people is ummm pretty bad at their job...:rofl:
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muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 06:09 AM
Response to Original message
4. What you have there is a Disaster Area stunt ship for a dive into the sun
It was a ship of classic, simple design, like a flattened salmon, twenty yards long, very clean, very sleek. There was just one remarkable thing about it.

"It's so ... black!" said Ford Prefect, "you can hardly make out its shape ... light just seems to fall into it!"

Zaphod said nothing. He had simply fallen in love.

The blackness of it was so extreme that it was almost impossible to tell how close you were standing to it.

"Your eyes just slide off it ..." said Ford in wonder. It was an emotional moment. He bit his lip.

Zaphod moved forward to it, slowly, like a man possessed - or more accurately like a man who wanted to possess. His hand reached out to stroke it. His hand stopped. His hand reached out to stroke it again. His hand stopped again.

"Come and feel the surface," he said in a hushed voice.

Ford put his hand out to feel it. His hand stopped.

"You ... you can't ..." he said.

"See?" said Zaphod, "it's just totally frictionless. This must be one mother of a mover ..."

...

"Look at this," said Ford, "look at the interior of this ship."

"Weirder and weirder," breathed Zaphod.

"It's black," said Ford, "Everything in it is just totally black ..."

...

The ship was rocking and swaying sickeningly as Ford and Zaphod tried to wrest control from the autopilot. The engined howled and whined like tired children in a supermarket.

"It's the wild colour scheme that freaks me," said Zaphod whose love affair with this ship had lasted almost three minutes into the flight, "Every time you try to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. What is this? Some kind of galactic hyperhearse?"

The walls of the swaying cabin were also black, the ceiling was black, the seats - which were rudimentary since the only important trip this ship was designed for was supposed to be unmanned - were black, the control panel was black, the instruments were black, the little screws that held them in place were black, the thin tufted nylon floor covering was black, and when they had lifted up a corner of it they had discovered that the foam underlay also was black.

"Perhaps whoever designed it had eyes that responded to different wavelengths," offered Trillian.

"Or didn't have much imagination," muttered Arthur.

"Perhaps," said Marvin, "he was feeling very depressed."

http://www.otostopcu.org/yazi/h2g2/b2c19.php
http://www.otostopcu.org/yazi/h2g2/b2c21.php
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JitterbugPerfume Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-01-09 11:17 AM
Response to Reply #4
10. uh oh
something bad is a'gonna happen!
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
5. Gosh, I would be worried
the psychic with his/her vision could now read your Visa/Master card number by touching your Amish Mustang.

I would wrap my credit car in aluminum foil just to be safe, maybe some aluminum foil head gear too?

:evilgrin:
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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Good idea!
Thanks.

Maybe I'll put a picture of James Randi on the dashboard, for good measure...
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
7. When I first moved here, I used to go to a woo store
for some especially pungent incense that was the best cat box deodorant I've ever found.

One day, they had some spotty kid with a Tarot deck and offered me a free reading. I told them no, that I'd rather be surprised. The expressions on all their faces were absolutely priceless. It just did not compute at all.

The went out of business a couple of months later, taking my only connection for that incredibly strong incense with them. I've also been unable to find the stuff on line, so my house smells of eau de cat in winter.

I just wonder if the Tarot reader told them they were going under or if he let them be surprised, too.
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
8. Damn, I thought you meant literally.
Signed,

Disappointed. :evilgrin:
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-01-09 01:10 AM
Response to Original message
9. He's still there? He must be dried out by now.
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Ian David Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-03-09 08:58 AM
Response to Original message
11. Ring Bell For Psychic
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bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-03-09 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. ...
:rofl:
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