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Hi, how have you all been? (Anyone seen "The Choir" on BBC America?)

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TayTay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-19-10 08:43 PM
Original message
Hi, how have you all been? (Anyone seen "The Choir" on BBC America?)
I am freshly back from 3 weeks, on again off again, spent caring for my Mom while my sister took a well-deserved break. My Mom is classified as totally disabled by the Grat and Glorious Commonwealth of Massachusetts which means she qualifies for total beneifts, as long as she pays for them. (She is $100 a month over the limit in income, alas.) This means that my Mom needs a caregiver 24/7, and unless I win the lottery anytime soon, I will spend a good deal of time caring for my Mom.

(This has been an immensely interesting time. I found out that I like taking care of my Mom, I like the silences and intensity this requires and I like trying to learn how to communicate with someone who is mostly incapable of verbal communication. Who knew that would happen. I have to learn to appreciate silences. My Mom finds that immensely funny and ironic. My ability to "be still" and listen is a work in progress, btw.)

Anyway, is anyone here watching the BBC America program "The Choir"? I absolutely adore this show. The most recent edition of it involves the adorable Choirmaster Gareth Malone going to the "economically disadvantaged" community of South Oxey in England and getting people to sing.

I love this show, but even more so, in the context of this discussion board and group, I love what it shows about how to motivate people and instill the sense of community and actual hope in people. (Seriously, if you have On Demand, go to the BBC Section and watch eps 9, 10 and, soon, 11 and 12 of this show.) This is what community organizing means. Then come back and talk to me. I would love to discuss this non-political show, and what it says about working with people, human nature and singing ones heart out at random times. (Oops, I might be the only one who does that but I do mostly confine it to rides to work.)
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MH1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-19-10 10:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. Tay! very good to hear from you!
I took care of my aging parents for several years (both passed in 2003). It was a challenging experience but rewarding in many ways. It definitely brought our family closer together, and that benefit has lasted.

I haven't been watching The Choir but now if I get a chance, I will. I generally like BBC shows better than US. (Except NCIS, but that is only because I fell for Mark Harmon long ago. :) )

Oh and you're not the only one who sings randomly in the car at times. I knew there was something I missed about driving to work. (Nowadays I only go about a mile to the train station. Not long enough to sing much. )
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wisteria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-19-10 11:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. Tay, I am sorry to hear about your mother's health. And even more sorry that she is one of those
unfortunate people who fall through the cracks. It is good that you enjoy the time you spend with your mother,but I hope you do have others who are helping out equally.
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karynnj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-20-10 07:23 AM
Response to Original message
3. The devotion and love that you and your family show to each other is inspiring
Your genuine acceptance of something so hard to accept and your positive attitude is amazing. It really is hard that MA's program has a cutoff, instead of gradually decreasing the amount paid. It seems unfair that your mom is penalized because your dad and she succeeded in creating a decent income stream for their retirement years.

I love the BBC shows, but our cable company does not include the BBC in the hundreds of channels that we get - which is really ridiculous given some of the complete garbage they do cover.
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TayTay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-20-10 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Thank you for the compliments
and I am so sorry that the BBC America channel is not on the line-up. Let me summarize why I brought it up in the context of this group.

We so often see all these disagreements on DU and other boards about how to organize communities and coalitions. How is this done? How do people present themselves to others and offer reasonable hope for change? What does it take to get these efforts up and running?

What this show does is show the "how", or what it takes to get an effort up and running. On the surface, this show is a pretty simple story about a guy who loves to sing, loves to direct choirs and believes that choirs are good for communities. (Not political, right.) Also, this is a TV show, so it is edited, a point I readily concede. Yet, there are lessons for anyone in politics in this pretty simple, feel-good story.

The first two stories in this series were about building a choir in schools. The first school was located in a working class town, the second school was an all-boys academy with a heavy sports orientation. One of the biggest hurdles the Choirmaster, Gareth Malone, faced was getting boys and men to overcome their idea that singing was somehow "gay." Seriously, that is one of the biggest obstacles to getting the choirs together, trying to overcome the barrier for males that expressing yourself in song is somehow not masculine. (The socially approved outlet for being "male" is sports.) Fascinating just on that level.

The third series (these series are only 3 episodes long, btw) is about building a community choir in the village of South Oxhey. What the Choirmaster sets out to do is community organizing on the most basic level. He has to convince people that singing is not "posh" (elitist) and that it can be done in a tough town like South Oxhey.

There are so many fascinating things in this show and almost all of them are transferable to an American audience. (Amazingly so, really.) When the idea is proposed, people like it, then tell Gareth all the ways it won't work and that they are afraid of stepping out, being different, breaking the mold. People express fear that they will be laughed at or made fun of, especially the boys. (Wow, this fear of being "gay" is strong.) The work goes up and down, waxes and wanes, then succeeds because Gareth works the problem. (I like the Choirmaster, he is a fun personality but no saint. He expresses frustration, is puzzled by the strange behavior and mindset of his students and the township folks and often expresses his own doubts about his success.)

I have been asked so many times about how to organize, how is it done, what do you do when you encounter resistance and what role does humor play in organizing. I have talked a lot about that. Watching "the Choir", a non-political show, was, by far, the best representation of how to organize that I have seen on film. This is how it's done. Articulate a goal, do the footwork and find people who can see the goal, talk to one person at a time, take people as you find them, communicate and grind it out. No shortcuts, no magic potions, just hard work, a personal touch, encouragement, setting goals and meeting people where they come from on a mutual level of trust. That's how it's done. Honestly, that's how it's done.

My favorite part of the show is "the dog that didn't bark" part. I never see Gareth calling the people who don't agree with him stupid or evil. He is focused on getting the ones he can get. He doesn't focus on the ones he can't get. He doesn't waste energy on negativity. Oh God, that is refreshing to see. (It's amazing to see many of the expressed fears of "this won't work" evaporate. People are so afraid of stepping out, crossing lines of stereotypes or expected behavior, yet when they do, the fears prove to be groundless. I think that's what leaders do, they shepard people through fear.)
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Inuca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-21-10 06:34 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. Seconding what Karyn said
you are indeed amazing Tay :hug:. ALways interesting to read too.
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MBS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-20-10 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
5. Hi, Tay-
Your mom is lucky to have you for a daughter. And you are lucky already to see the value of this time with your mom, for YOU as well as for her.
Like MH, I went through this with my parents (in my case, more than a decade ago); and like MH, I found it a hard time, but also a beautiful time.

Gosh, I wish I had access to BBC America "The Choir" sounds wonderful! Maybe there will be video archive or rentable-DVD available at some point
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TayTay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-20-10 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Thanks MBS
I had more time to watch TV this summer. I discovered that I can't watch one more show about guns or dissecting dead people. (Seriously, how many shows are there dedicated to autopsy of murder victims? If we took all the money spent on all the shows about Medical Examiners offices and gave them to a State for actual ME expenses, we would solve more crimes.)

"The Choir" was a fabulous show in which no one died and got dissected or pulled a gun on someone else. That alone made it great in my book.
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ProSense Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-20-10 12:26 PM
Response to Original message
7. Hi Tay.
Sorry to hear about your Mom. She is fortunate to have a caring and compassionate person in you. Through all the difficult times in life, nothing beats having a caring family.

It's good to hear from you. Stay strong, and I'll keep your Mom in my prayers.

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ObamaKerryDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-21-10 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
9. Hi, Tay Tay. So sorry to hear about your mom! I hope things get better..
..soon. :hug:
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