Sociopaths - they are hard to recognize until you are involved

[ConcernedCanuk]

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At the age of 55 I got "involved" / introduced to the World of sociopaths.

I did not know it at the time.

Don't think anyone does.

Many sociopaths are above average intelligence, and know how to manipulate people.

I was a prime target.

I was close to eviction from my place in Ontario - and this American approached me with an offer to find her a place in Canada, and I would get a place to live;

Employment and benefits.

I found her a place

35 acres of pristine land with a 100 year old farmhouse, barn, shed, stream running through the property, and a freshwater spring(yet untapped) 60 feet above the level of the dwelling.

$60,000 Cdn - 4 years ago.

Long story short -

I'm now living in a trailer on the same property - no hydro, no running water - and she either poaches my friends, or scares them away.

I remember MANY times in our initial conversations, on the web, and on the phone of disconnecting with her for my perception of inconsideration -

that's a polite word

insanity would be a better one.

I should have trusted my instincts 5 years ago -

heck

I'm 59 years old

I never hung up or disconnected on ANYBODY before her

but sociopaths are masters of deception.

I remember a young girl of 14 that I was dating when I was 15 years old.

She said "Dave - you're gonna have a hard life"

"You're too gullible"

I wonder if she had idea

how right she was

[elleng]

1. Married one; didn't 'know ' until 25 years, 2 children, etc etc later.

Oh, so THAT's why I've been 'depressed.' Looking for a new life now, at 65. Damn.

[ConcernedCanuk]

2. Sociopath's are very good at making problems seem "Your fault"

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At 59 - I'm surprised I got fooled - well,. I was 54 at the time - the people I introduced her to to try to make her a part of the community

are no longer MY friends.

"possession" is part of a sociopath's personality

they don't like to "share"

heck - seeing as I'm living in a trailer with minimal toilet facilities

I asked her when expecting a friend to visit if he would be allowed to the use the facilities in the house(which I was supposed to be able to live in)

her response was "I don't want to share my bathroom"

I think a more accurate response wold have been

"I don't want to share - ANYTHING"

:freak:

[HereSince1628]

3. Somedays I think that this forum ought to be subdivided

so that those whose lives are made difficult by the mentally ill can say what they need to say, and get support--which they deserved--, without the need to cross swords with those who are...well, "ILL."

My SO uses facebook messaging as a means to talk to my children behind my back about my mental illness. Knowing this feels bad, really.

Separating the needs of those who are mentally ill, and those who live with the mentally ill, seems pretty logical to me. It avoids a whole lot of conflict that cannot be resolved using what serves as 'mainstream' orientation.

[mopinko]

4. i understand what you are saying. i can only hope that all concerned will be

considerate. i think if there were people directly involved with each other here, it could be handled by admins. otherwise we can hope that this space can lead to a little understanding from both sides of the coin.

take care friend. pm me if you need something.

[EFerrari]

6. When I started my BPD yahoo group, I went exactly in the opposite direction.

And I did it exactly because the dynamics of the disorder as they seemed to play out in our homes was to continually be dividing. Relationships, families, friends, whatever was available. Our group went exactly against the received wisdom and to my knowledge, was the first one on the net that did that.

In practical terms, it meant we all had to slow down a little bit, check ourselves out before we posted. Our assumption was, we all lived with it, all of us, and the similarities of our experience far, far outweighed the differences although there were differences. There was a lot of great work done in the group. :)

[mopinko]

5. cc, just so you know

sociopathy is not really considered a mental illness. it is a personality disorder. so it is sort of borderline appropriate for this group.
at any rate, i think that general carping about being done wrong by someone is best done in the lounge. loved ones of mentally ill are welcome here, but a desire to understand and continue to love that person is assumed.

[redqueen]

7. They scare me.

I just recently found out that many are actually proud of what they are and what they do to people they consider 'weak'.

[elleng]

8. My husband ('stranged') is one, and its devastating daughters.

They don't know which one of us to believe, he sounds so 'genuine,' in spite of the fact that they're 25 and 22. In the middle of it now, hence the rant.

Had me clinically depressed for years, until a friend helped me identify the condition and somehow snap out, but 'we're' suffering.

[JeffersonChick]

9. They're far more common than most people realize...

I did a lot of reading up about them (along with personality disorders).

Great book:

The Sociopath Next Door