I came in here wanting to say something, but I'm not sure exactly what it is :)

[Tobin S.]

I've been home since last Tuesday night and I have visited with the relatives that I was damning to hell a few threads ago. I've found that with the consumption of whiskey I can handle them for short periods of time. :)

Forgive and forget? No. Tolerate? Maybe.

I was having dinner with relatives last week after I got home and after about an hour I could feel the anger boiling up. I simply excused myself and went home.

I understand that is within my ability to shatter the fragile illusion of sanity that we all share when we are together, but what would be the point? They are getting old and soft and there is a new generation to consider who I'll be damned if I'm going to expose to any of this.

So mix the next one a little stronger and I might stay a little longer. In the meantime, the road calls to me and I will heed that call.

[HereSince1628]

1. It's great that you kept in control and left

before things got worse. Relatives do have a special way expecting us to be as we were. So they treat us as we were, and when we are with them they often seem to try to trap us in our past.

I'm not sure if your discovery that anger is a big issue is something you've already shared with your doc. If you haven't talked to the doc about anti-anxiety drugs that also reduce aggression/anger you might consider that.

I relied on alcohol as a sedative for many years; it's cheap and fast acting. Unfortunately, it has a tendency to make me more impulsive (and therefore more likely to act out) before it sedates me. I can't say how EtOH might affect you, but DUI is also awful risky if you get drunk then pissed off at relatives and need to drive yourself away.

Good luck with the next haul.

[Tobin S.]

2. I don't drive drunk

I have friends and friendly relatives in the area who are willing to let me crash if I need to.

I agree that alcohol is probably not the best way to deal with such matters, but it actually chills me out. I understand that it can be detrimental as well and don't get too carried away.

In other words, don't try this at home kids. :)