I am so tired of feeling this way ...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

I am so tired of feeling this way :

obessing over things that are not true,over analyzing every single detail that I see ,hear, - imagining shit that is not true, saying things that I don't mean. I feel so weak. I want to go outside and just go for a walk but I feel like I am being held down by force in a cell. I have the freedom to go but my mind is preventing me from doing so.

I wish my relatives would just call me every now and then to ask me if I am alright.I wish they would just listen to me instead of always talking about the people who go to their church all the damn time.

Whenever we have family dinners I feel like an oddball out. Its hard for me to sit in the room with these people even though they have done nothing wrong. Its my brain , not me ...

I swear I hate my current shift. I work 3rd shift. I need to get off of 3rd shift. Its messing me up mentally.

I pray and pray and pray ... when will I feel the change.

[Droopy]

1. I work 3rd shift, too

And it messes with my head sometimes as well. The problem I have is that I sometimes can't get enough sleep. I thought I was becoming manic the other day, but I found it was just due to sleep deprivation. People tell me all the time that I should look for a different job with more agreeable hours. But it's not that easy for me when I consider my job. I have really good benefits and health insurance for the first time in a year and a half. I'm also making the best money of my life.

A lot of people have posted in here in regards to having trouble with family. I think that is often a source for mental problems for people whose upbringing wasn't all that rosey. But it sounds to me that your issues with your family are current and not due to reasons from the past. Have a talk with your folks and tell them what you have written here. If they do not initiate the contact, try doing it yourself. Try a probable request your mom used a lot on you when you were young, "Listen to me when I'm talking to you!" :)

[hedgehog]

2. Are you getting medical assistance? Don't try to fight with just

will power. If you had a broken leg, you'd see a doctor to get it fixed. You'd have to put the effort in at rehab once the bone is healed, but first you need to get the break fixed.


If you're working third, you have to make getting enough sleep an absolute priority. Make sure your room is dark and quiet. DOn't try to run around and do things just because it's day light. At the same time, make sure you're compensating for the lask of sun light. CHeck with your doctor about your vitamin D level. Worling at night is as bad as living through a Midwestern winter in terms of inducing SAD, IMO.

SAD = Seasonal Affect Disorder.

Take care of yourself. You aren't alone.