i'm slipping into something, but i have no idea what it is

[fizzgig]

my mood has been really, really good lately. my sleep schedule has been thrown off this past week (i've been getting up four hours earlier than usual and that will last another few weeks), but i've been feeling pretty good.

except i am not really liking anyone right now. i don't want to talk to anyone (other than just some mindless crap in the lounge), i don't want to be around anyone, i don't want to think about talking to or being around anyone. but i'm going stir crazy and am very lonely for some human touch, some actual interaction.

a lot of my friends have moved away. my sister is usually too busy for me. there are very few people i want to be around right now, and i can't be with any of them.

sigh...i am just never damn happy sometimes

[mdmc]

1. hang in there my friend

It sounds like seasonal affective disorder, but it could be anything...

[fizzgig]

2. thanks

i just hate this feeling that i'm coming apart inside

[mdmc]

3. well, keep posting and talking to folks that care

:hug:

one day at a time, one minute at a time.

I like to quote du'er RA (random australian) - if you live to see tomorrow there is a chance that you will be happy. Keep striving for happiness.

peace out.

[zanne]

6. Kagehime--I wouldn't try to label what I was feeling...

It's good that you recognize it. I'm sure it will pass. I'm going from my experience with mood changes here, but when I feel a little "off", I tell myself "Fire cools. Water seeks its own level". In other words, it'll pass.

[fizzgig]

8. i guess i feel like i can address it if i can understand it

but i also know that we all go through cycles and that it will pass, it just gets tiring feeling like this

[Forkboy]

4. Something inside of me switched off weeks ago.

I'm not in a bad mood, I'm not in a good mood. I'm just existing. And I feel pretty much nothing anymore. School shootings, the war, disasters...they aren't generating any emotion in me at all. I've had stretches like this before, but even though I felt I didn't care it bothered me to be aware of that lack of caring. I knew I should care. This time though, I don't even care that I don't care. That should scare me (it scares a friend who compared me to Dexter) but it doesn't.

And like you I don't really want to talk to people or be around anyone, even the few people I like and trust, but the loneliness is crushing at times (thankfully I have a VERY friendly cat lol). It's the weirdest thing, and it can tie me up in knots sometimes because I can't mesh the two totally opposing feelings. It would be nice to have someone just put a hand on my shoulder, or hold my hand for awhile. Just an affectionate touch, nothing sexual, a touch that says, "I care."

Sigh :)

Anyways, I hope you can find some answers that help.

[hermetic]

5. I feel EXACTLY the same

Woke up one morning last week and had this strange sense that something inside of me had quit working. I just don't care suddenly about things that mattered very much to me the day before. I thought it would go away, but it hasn't. Likewise, thank goodness for my cat but I suspect an affectionate human touch would go a long way here. Unfortunately, that ain't gonna happen.

Sorry to be such a ray of sunshine. I guess it did make me feel a little better to hear someone else feels the same.

I hope we can all find some answers, very soon.

:hug:

[Forkboy]

7. A ray of sunshine...

:D

No problems...this isn't meant to be the happiest forum around. And it does make people feel good to know they aren't alone in what they feel. There's nothing wrong with that. It's not that we enjoy that someone is going through hard times, but that we can appreciate knowing that we're not entirely alone in those lousy feelings.

I think part of it for a lot of people is the time of year. Seasonal affective disorder and all that stuff. But for me I'm not so sure. I know what led up to this and what triggered it, and it wasn't the weather, so I don't think S.A.D. is the cause. Besides, I like the dead of winter. :)

I hope we can all find some answers too. :hug:

[fizzgig]

9. i've been there too

where i just don't care and don't care that i don't

it can be so difficult to reconcile the two feelings and i hope we both can find a way to do it

[Maraya1969]

10. I so identify with what you say here.

The "I'm not liking anyone much right now" is such a weird feeling to me. I have dear friends for many years who I don't want to talk to. I keep telling myself that I need to get out and do something and the best I can do is hit a store, (even a convenience store) once a day. And sometimes that's not until night.

And then I have this feeling that everyone else is outside having a party and being real happy and even if I were invited I wouldn't want to go.

And then I wonder how much of this is actual real feeling and how much is spoon fed to me by our "society" that says we should be busy all the time and have friends and family around us that we are comfortable with. I look at TV commercials and so many of them are people smiling together and enjoying each other's company.

How realistic is all that? I wonder how I would feel if I could get this modern day model of happiness out of my head and just accept that my life is exactly as it is supposed to be.