I am terrifed for that little girl in the red coat from Shindler's List...

[InkAddict]

it's me stripped of years of work, hope, and dreams..............................................got to hold it together.

[EFerrari]

1. What's going on, friend?

That little girl is heartbreaking.

[InkAddict]

2. Core sadness....all I do is cry...when no one's looking...

I can't cope w/the joblessness all around...and I can't financially support what we need to do...all within the next month. My husband's out of work; my daughter, into whose home we're supposed to move, got laid-off Friday; her husband was essentially forced out of his job last Monday. My youngest graduates from OSU June 8; it's been a long struggle but I can't quite get in celebration mood...I need to sell/give away my home stuff...piano, Grandma's furniture...there's not very much room for it at her place and we can't afford storage...I can bearly stand to look at it, let alone pack it up, without sobbing some more...A immediate relative on the WC jost lost his job of 23 years, no severence; pension iffy...see http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3316402#3316498. I have only "apartment friends" as our close friends left town years ago and I feel so ashamed of what has happened...I don't do sad well...I get angry...so no one thinks I'm grateful enough...We have no healthcare or life/accident insurance...and I worry every time drives off, including myself...

I'm afraid all the pets won't get along, and we have different rules about their behavior anyways. Then, they want us to move again...to where the BIG ONE is sure to hit the minute we settle in to look for work over, and over, and over again. I'm so tired, sad, and scared what may happen. We're not youngsters, and it's so very expensive there. I just can't bear the chipper "what's the matter...because everything seems to be the matter just now."

I planted flowers and a garden on my patio, and it will die without water and care come July or it will be ransacked and ruined.

I seem surrounded by deluded optimists...while I walk down that street in my red winter coat.

[EFerrari]

3. I've been in pretty much your situation for the last two years

only without kids or partner. Waking up in a panic is just what happens every night.

All I can say is, you have to walk through this your way, your own way. If you're not optimistic, not chipper, well, that is your way. Staying inside your own shoes may be the one thing you can control right now.

And if you come out here where the Big One will certainly happen at some point, maybe we can take Red Cross training together in different cities. Maybe it'll help us feel more in charge of something, of at least something.

:hug:

[InkAddict]

4. You know, I've followed your posts across DU for some time, and I see

how brave you, heck, we've all been and are...it is a comfort as we make our way thru...I dug in the dirt today, terminally liberating some humungous weeds, and it was pretty therapeutic. All I can do, I guess, is try to make things happen in the best way possible, if there is one...I'm grateful for your care.

[I Have A Dream]

5. That's a lot to deal with all at once, InkAddict. Being sad about it is totally...

understandable.

I hope that things get better for you soon. Until then, I hope that you can find some comfort in small things that make you feel a little better. Just take it one step at a time and don't expect too much of yourself.

:hug: