Hallucinations

[Droopy]

I've yet to com across a good explanation for the hallucinations that some people have associated with mental illness. These can be visual, auditory, olfactory or tactile. I've experienced all of the above to one degree or another. Most of my hallucinations were auditory, though. I would hear voices. They were like loud whispers. They would usually come in response to something I was thinking about and they were almost always mean and cruel. For instance, one time I was thinking about a time when I got pulled over by a cop for having a busted head light. He gave me a warning and let me go. The auditory hallucination I had in response to the memory was, "That son of bitch should have chewed you a new asshole." The hallucination would be right in my ear as if somebody was standing right next to me and whispering in my ear. Auditory hallucinations were a part of my daily life for a long time and they got much worse than the above description and were usually in response to something I was thinking about which led me to believe that people could read my mind and communicate with me telepathically. In the end before I was admitted to the hospital the voices were telling me that I wasn't worthy of life.

When I was in the hospital a psychiatric nurse asked me if I heard voices. I told her that I did. She then asked me if I thought that it was really my own thoughts causing the hallucinations. I didn't know. Is it possible that those voices were my own low self esteem talking back to me somehow?

I've had a few visual hallucinations. Once I saw a classic alien face looking at me through the window when it was dark out. Another time my whole house lit up in the middle of the night so bright that the light drowned out all other visuals.

I've had some tactile hallucinations, but they are too embarrassing to talk about here. But I will say they were the most revolting, horrifying hallucinations that I had. I almost hurt someone one time because of them.

I still have olfactory hallucinations from time to time. One night not too long ago I was driving down the road in my semi rig I could smell strawberries for a solid minute. It was in the middle of winter in Ohio. I didn't have any air fresheners in my truck or any food. The smell was somewhat strong, too. Just a few nights ago I had a similar experience. I was driving down the road again same as before and all of the sudden I could smell oranges. It lasted for about a minute, too. I haven't had oranges or strawberries in about 6 months.

What do you think could be the cause of such hallucinations? The source would almost certainly be the mind of the hallucinater, but what causes them to be externalized like that?

[sans qualia]

1. I read an article

a while ago about olfaction in people suffering from schizophrenia that said that schizophrenics are unable to correctly identify smells. They still experience smells, they just have difficulty identifying them; they might, for instance, experience the smell of an onion as the smell of a rose. Since these olfactory weirdnesses have obvious external causes, I wonder if they're proper hallucinations, or just misperceptions? If they're misperceptions, then is it possible that other "hallucinations" are just misperceptions as well? Your example of your house lighting up, for instance: was your brain fabricating a wholly new image to replace what you'd normally see, or were you just mistaking dark for light? Is there even a difference between the two?

edit: found the article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3224437.stm

[Droopy]

5. Interesting

I have an illness related to schizophrenia called schizoaffective disorder. It's often described as a combination of schizophrenia and manic-depression. I don't recall having any olfactory weirdness before the onset of the illness, but that's been about 12 years now. I do know that I had olfactory hallucinations while I was ill, but I don't think I was mistaking the scent of one thing for another. I would just smell scents that weren't really there. I also had a very acute sense of smell from time to time. Regular odors would just smell so much more intense.

[CoffeeCat]

2. My experience...

I wanted to share some of my experiences. I've been in therapy for a few years, due to childhood trauma and abuse.

There was a time in my recovery when I was recovering memories of abuse. It seemed like the world was flying at me from all different directions. So much emotion and visual stuff was emerging.

One thing that happened--I began to hear very specific things. One example--at night, I swore I could hear someone in my bedroom. Several times, I was absolutely sure that I could hear someone in the room. It freaked me out.

My therapist said that auditory hallucinations can be emerging memories. Memories are not only visual, they are also emotions, sounds and sometimes visuals.

During one of my worst weeks, I was remembering my childhood bedroom. I looked across the room and I saw a small, red light. It completely freaked me out. My therapist taught me to concentrate on the feelings that the red light evoked. Fear and dread were the two I remember. All of a sudden, I remembered--I left my stereo on at night, when I was a child, and when it was on a small dot of red light lit up on the stereo. My therapist and I worked on the feelings surrounding all of this and I never saw the red dot again. Turns out, I did a lot of zoning out, and when I did it I was looking at the red light. The red light became the visual representation of the trauma I endured. All of the emotion I felt, as a child, was repressed and instead I focused on the light to quell those feelings. Interesting, huh?

Also--I would "hear" phrases. Again, these are memories of things my abuser said. The "replay" today--is the memory emerging. I have to say--the negative things you are hearing, sound like something an abuser would say. Were you raised in an abusive family? Were people verbally abusive toward you?

About the fruit smells. One thing you might try...focus on how the smells make you feel. Are the smells accompanies by strong feelings? Sadness? Fear? Happiness?

My experience and suggestions may or may not fit for you. I can say that I am glad I had a therapist who understood how childhood trauma affects the adult. He helped me to unravel what these "hallucinations" were, and it helped. They went away after we did some very-tough emotional work on them.

I wish you the best. This is tough stuff.

[Droopy]

4. I had a somewhat normal childhood

There are three traumatic incidences that I had in my childhood, but I fully remember them and I don't think that they are contributing factors to my illness. My parents were never abusive towards me, but my mom and dad did a lot of fighting before they were divorced when I was 8. The divorce was one of the traumatic things that happened to me. Some kids take those kinds of things alright, but I was very unhappy about it.

I don't know why the voices were so cruel. I've been hard on myself in the past for various mistakes and shortcomings. It could very well be an amplification of my own self criticism.

Interestingly I had an experience of a kind voice one time. There is this lady that I work with who is a very nice lady. She's friendly towards everyone she meets. When I finished up work after a particularly traumatic night I went out to my truck and sat there in a catatonic stupor for about an hour. I was the only one there. Then I started hearing this kind lady's voice. She was telling me how much I'd been through and refering to the other voices she said, "You're in trouble, boy. The other ones have got you to the point of killing yourself. You need help. Go on home now. Talk to somebody about this." The next day I was in the hospital.

Regarding the fruit smells. There is no strong emotion that came from them. They are mildly pleasant and remind me of the summer time. My mom makes strawberry pie in the summer sometimes and I was reminded about that. No memories were associated with the orange smell.

[TrogL]

3. I had an olfactory hallucination this morning

I usually get them associated with strong smells.

This morning it was my "favourite" (ick) must smell. I asked my daughter (who has a normal sense of smell) if she could pick it up but she couldn't smell anything unusual.

I just went back on anti-depressants, which may have something to do with it. I've been getting strange sensations and wierd mood swings and taste hallucinations.

[Droopy]

6. That's one thing I forgot

Taste hallucinations. I don't recall ever having them, but I know that they are not uncommon.

If the weird stuff doesn't go away soon you may want to tell your doctor what you are feeling. I know you just started a couple of weeks ago on the drug so the mood swings may just be the drug starting to work. But I'd be particularly careful, especially of the mood swings. I've heard one side affect of some anti-depressants is that they can have the opposite affect of what they are prescribed to do. Watch yourself closely.

[TrogL]

7. It's a seratonin overdose

For some reason your brain is getting too much seratonin or it's being uptaken too quickly and you're brain's going into overdrive and making shit up.