Quakerfriend
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Wed Jun-28-06 08:25 PM
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Does BEING alone make you into a loner? |
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I have found that the more I am alone, the more I want to be alone. Does this happen to anyone else?
First, a little background for you. At present, I am a 48 y.o. stay at home mother of two. My husband and I both have very large families living nearby (45 and growing first order cousins live within 15 minutes!). For 18 years I worked in teaching hospitals- around lots of people all day. Lots of meetings, public speaking etc.
Since I stopped working I just want to be alone. We go to ~ 50% of family functions and other social occ's. Like the neighbors but, don't wish to socialize with them. I frequently want to leave parties early. And, I do notice that I regret meeting new, and interesting people because, though I like them very much, I do not wish to have any kind of relationship with them.
At times I feel as though I'm constantly trying to defend against unwanted invitations!!
Has this happened to anyone else?
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supernova
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Wed Jul-05-06 01:06 PM
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1. I go through periods of this |
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where I want to be less social and don't really want a lot of attachments, other than my family.
I'm going through one now. I stopped going to church several months ago for two reasons, one of which was that I was constantly saying "no" to do this or that event or to get involved in this or that committee. I was not as social as they really wanted me to be. And it's tiresome to keep saying no and still have people want to pressure me to do things. Plus I hated that the participation level seemed to equate with what a great xtain you are. :P
I work and am single, so most of my energy goes into my job. After many years of jobs where the social pressures were unrelenting (I also logged hospital time, so I know what you're talking about), I now have a job where the social aspect is managable to me.
I try to concentrate on doing less but make it as meaningful as it can be for everyone, me included.
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smirkymonkey
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Thu Oct-19-06 08:58 PM
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2. Yes, and I always wondered if being alone is almost like an |
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addiction of sorts. It does seem that the more I am alone, the more I find interacting with other people unbearable. On the other hand, the more I am around people the more I want to be alone too. Being around others for too long a period of time makes me very cranky and angry.
I also wonder if it's just getting older - I was never terribly extraverted, but I am much more introverted than I used to be. I don't like parties at ALL anymore, although I like small dinner parties with good friends, or even the occasional new person.
You are not alone. :hi:
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Thu May 02nd 2024, 04:30 PM
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