Okay, I am terrified

[Digit]

I have not been posting much lately as I am in alot of pain and did not want attention. I am finding that isolating myself is not working for me and maybe considering the circumstances, I am not thinking clearly enough on my own.
I have some very scary symptoms and recently, I began experiencing quite a bit of pain. I have no job and no health insurance so I began using an herbal concoction to hopefully cure the problem.
Secretly, I began to get my things in order to make it easier for my daughter after I am gone. Filing papers away, finishing building this computer I started building a year ago, etc.
My thought process was that it would be better to die while I still owned a home instead of penniless living under a bridge somewhere.
This blasted pain is getting in the way, though.
Do I just give in and confess to my doctor knowing I cannot afford the tests? I know at least there will be a biopsy and a colonoscopy involved...probably more. Embarrassment is not even an issue anymore due to the pain and believe me...I have narcotics and use them.
I never counted on the pain.
No friends, no family except for my daughter.
What do I do next? I am at a loss.

[WestHoustonDem]

1. Digit

You sound like I did about 9 years ago. I was sure I had colon cancer. It turned out that I wasn't dying, but have Crohn's disease. It really sucks, but eventually I got it under control. If you want to discuss symptoms privately, PM me. You might want to check out this site: http://www.ccfa.org/

Tell your doctor you can't afford the tests. He/she may have information on resources that could help you.

I'm also a single mom. How old is your daughter?

[REP]

2. I Have Crohn's Too

Mine is in the small bowel and very mild, but hurts like hell and has some alarming symptoms, like crapping blood. As I said, mine's very mild, and sometimes it hurts so much I literally am unable to stand. Note I am stressing mine is mild! Moderate to severe Crohn's and ulcerative colitis are very, very painful indeed - and treatable!

PLEASE take the other poster's advice and talk to your doctor. There are programs available for people without insurance but who do not qualify for Medicaid (that's how I got treated for cancer back in my insurance-free days). Your doctor will know what to do - please talk to him/her!

[knitter4democracy]

3. Make an appointment.

Tell the office that it needs to be a bit longer than usual--stress the pain angle. Your doc might have some ideas on how to afford the tests (there might be resources in your area that you don't know about--they tend not to advertise them much, but the docs know about them).

It could be a million things other than cancer, and it's best to know what's going on. Don't die before your time because you think you know what the problem is.

If your doctor's a dip, see if you can find a new one. Call the hospital, and ask to speak to the charge nurse on the medical floor or the ICU. They always know who's good in the area.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

4. I just read Digit's post. I hope she's OK and went to her doctor.

I have colitis myself.

[WestHoustonDem]

5. I got a PM from digit today

She has been to a doctor and will hopefully continue with treatment. Her doctor was able to refer her to a specialist that does work for a minimal fee and she's working on scheduling some tests. I haven't asked her if it's okay to share that much or more details, but I will check with her and keep everyone updated if she agrees to that and isn't up to posting updates herself.

I'm encouraged and hoping for the best.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

6. Send her my best. A lot of times, doctors (the good ones, anyway)

will work w/ you.

[WestHoustonDem]

7. I sure will. She may read it here

She's okay with me keeping the forum updated. Right now her problem is that even if the doctor work with her, she has to deal with the hospital too, and the pain is making her irritable.

[Digit]

8. I laugh, but indeed I am irritable

Although I would rather my ugly side not come through, I guess it did with the pain I am having to endure. Part of me has to laugh, because I must have been a real a real sourpuss on the phone, and the other part is ashamed I acted that way with someone who was lending a caring ear.

I am not myself these days, and I apologize for anything I may take out on others.

Since Christmas is upon some of us, I am waiting until after that time to figure out to do with the colonoscopy. The hospital said it would be $2,500 without the doctor's fee.

What is really tragic is that there are probably a million people with problems more extensive, who don't post here.

[flamingyouth]

9. I really feel for you.

I totally understand being irritable from the pain. Sometimes I cry at night because I feel so bad for snapping at people I know mean well.

I wish you better health in the new year. :hug:

[WestHoustonDem]

10. Hi Digit!

Good to see you here!

[carolinalady]

11. A few years ago, I was in a similar situation. I had a job-owned

a cleaning business-but no health insurance and mega bills to pay. I also had to kids in elementary school. Long story short-I develpped a severe onset of Scleroderma which resulted in losing the tips of three fingers. I was so sick I had to go the doc. Anyway, the good news was I was so sick I had to have multiple tests and drugs. I could not work, even though my husband did, I qualified for Medicaid because the amount of money was so high-(a guess because I was pretty out of it, but I would say easily over 20K). The more tests you need, the greater the chance of getting state aid. The people at the doctor's office and hospital will work with you from the beginning, and they don't even bill you if they know you are going to qualify. They wait until you get the coverage. Don't let lack of money hold you back. You may need to pay for an initial consultation, but if you need a lot of help, they will find ways to get it paid. Hope this helps.