ThomCat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Aug-12-07 10:18 AM
Original message |
Sexism alive and well among young guys. |
|
http://www.gamernode.com/Columns/5-Brendon-Lindsey/3637-How-a-GameStop-employee-tried-to-screw-over-my-girlfriend/index.htmlWe've heard that supposedly sexism is a remnant. It's going away. Each generation is less sexist than the last. So this is an interesting article about how a woman was treated by a male teen sales clerk. I would be interested in hearing how typical this kind of rude treatment is.
|
Katherine Brengle
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Aug-12-07 02:15 PM
Response to Original message |
1. banging. head. against. wall. repeatedly. |
|
I love this guy that wrote the article - it was refreshing to see him call out another male on his asshat-ness.
I'm at the point, if a salesman(boy) called me some condescending shit like "girlie" he would be getting a few pieces of my mind along with a detailed complaint to the manager.
That kind of shit is ridiculous.
|
atommom
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Aug-12-07 03:40 PM
Response to Original message |
2. I've gotten similar treatment even at dives like Radio Shack. |
|
I know that being a sales clerk sucks, but that doesn't mean I won't turn around and leave if they're rude. I'd rather order the item online when I get home (as soon as I've finished making my formal complaint).
|
gollygee
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Aug-12-07 05:20 PM
Response to Original message |
3. My daughter and I have a DS that we play |
|
and we've gone into our local Gamespot and we've always been treated very respectfully by the young men (and they are always young men) there.
There certainly are very sexist young men. I don't know if this group is better, worse, or the same as the last.
I have the most trouble at our local Toyota dealership when I want to get my car serviced. I am very sad to say that I've given up talking to them and I have my husband schedule it now. Those are men in their 30s and 40s though.
|
iverglas
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Sun Aug-12-07 09:15 PM
Response to Original message |
4. I just always have to tell my funny "girls" story |
|
So I was at the mall xmas shopping with my friend and her daughter. I was about 40 and 5'6; the daughter was about 16 and 5'11. We both had long, straight hair, mine about down to my waist, hers a fair bit shorter. We were standing looking at the silly "what your family name means" display. Behind us, I heard a male voice say "Can I help you, girls?"
I turned around, ready to give him a stern lecture ... but the look of embarrassed horror on his face when he saw mine ... I realized he'd thought we actually were both girls, and he would absolutely never have called such an obviously middle-aged woman as myself a girl if he'd known.
I would never suggest that being called a girl when yer 40 is flattering; quite the contrary. But neither was the look on his face. ;)
|
ThomCat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 08:02 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. I don't think I've ever had a sales rep call me a boy. |
|
I've heard "Can I help you guys?" "Can I help you Gentlemen?" And "Can I help you, sir?"
I've never heard, "Can I help you boys."
|
iverglas
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 08:31 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
7. well, that's one of the lacunae of our lingo -- |
|
"Can I help you guys?"
-- there isn't an equivalent for female persons. The sales ... er, guy ... was probably in his mid-20s, and he'd taken us both for being 16 or 18 I figure, so if we'd been male, he undoubtedly would have said "Can I help you guys?" (If he'd been over 50, he might have said "Can I help you boys?")
But how does a mid-20s ... er, guy ... address teenaged girls in an equivalently casual / friendly way??
It's a major lacuna. If one says "Can I help you guys?" in that situation, to women, generic and friendly as it sounds, it's using a noun that means "male people" to mean "people", and that kinda went out with "know all men by these presents", and "firemen".
I do it, but I wish I didn't have to. ;)
|
Katherine Brengle
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. Even when I am talking to younger women, I would say |
|
"Can I help you ladies?"
Not "girls" - never. It's definitely rude.
I would probably even use "ladies" when addressing a group of younger girls.
It's just polite.
|
iverglas
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
|
Edited on Mon Aug-13-07 10:18 AM by iverglas
If you were addressing two 16-yr-old boys, would you say "can I help you gentlemen?" In a casual setting, if you were a casual, friendly person? That's all the salesguy in this case was, I think. And I just can't imagine him coming up behind two 16-yr-old boys and asking (he really did say it in a friendly tone) "can I help you gentlemen?"
"Guys" conveys a sort of "us" in that situation -- an equivalency between asker and askees. Like "fellows" in an earlier age, or "chaps" before that. "Ladies" and "gentlemen" imposes a distance -- sometimes wise, not always necessary. I just wish there were an inclusive term for the inclusive meaning. ;)
We don't even have one for ourselves, we women. Our counterparts get together with the guys; we ...? Lunch with the ladies ...
It's another of those normal - deviant things. The word for us women is always the special, i.e. non-standard, one.
|
Katherine Brengle
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
|
There really is no reasonably respectful equivalent to "guys" - unless you use "guys" but that annoys me sometimes.
|
prole_for_peace
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 06:44 AM
Response to Original message |
5. i haven't had a young guy treat me like that... |
|
usually been my age or older. but i am not saying it doesn't happen.
come to think of it there was an issue at best buy about two years ago. i needed an s to usb adapter for a mouse at work. i asked a male employee if he could see if they had some in back since there weren't any on the shelf. he said "sure" and left. i stood about 10 minutes and then saw him helping someone else...a guy. i don't know if he was ambushed or if he just screwed me over since (he thought)i was only going to spend a few bucks.
|
BlueIris
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 06:35 PM
Response to Original message |
11. I think sexism, misogyny and cultural illiteracy are highest among young Gen-Xers and Gen Y. |
|
Edited on Mon Aug-13-07 06:38 PM by BlueIris
I believe it has to do with the shitty education members of these generational blocks (and their parents) received, coupled with the backlash against feminism in the '80s and the media corruption which reduced meaningful awareness of anything, especially anything not White Male by like, 90%.
This is why I have such a hard time meeting people my age whom I want to socialize with at all. Most of them are complete fuckwads.
|
ThomCat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 06:44 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
12. I wonder how much that anti-feminist backlash has |
|
made it into our schools.
|
ismnotwasm
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Mon Aug-13-07 09:06 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
|
Many young women believe, as did young women at various points in history, that they can fuck their way into equality. Or that fucking *is* equality. That being sexy is power, because you are then fuckable. The other end evidently are the creepy chastity rings some wear for their daddies. In those cases you are still fuckable, but you're raising the stakes, not the bar.
I tried to raise my girls to acknowledge their right to say no, to use birth control, to practice safe sex, to say yes when they are comfortable, that they have a right to orgasm, to be and feel safe in their relationships. I raised my son the same way. They've all made their mistakes (I have a tee shirt that says "I told you so" Love Mom) But the message got though. They are all still learning and growing, but the groundwork is there.
|
DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Sun May 05th 2024, 01:49 AM
Response to Original message |