Eight Ways to Revolutionize the Sex Industry

[lightningandsnow]

http://www.xtra.ca/public/viewstory.aspx?AFF_TYPE=3&STORY_ID=4153&PUB_TEMPLATE_ID=5

This article deals with some issues which are controversial around here, but I feel like they should be talked about, even though we might not agree with all of it (I'm not sure I do)

I think it was a very interesting - and comprehensive article, though.

What are your thoughts?

[ThomCat]

1. That section "Offer Outs"

should be fleshed out (no pun intended) a whole lot more. Offering an out for sex-workers who don't want to do it anymore, or for people who feel coerced into doing it, or for people who think they have no choice, is a huge issue.

How do you offer that Out without ending the forced sexualization of women?

[femrap]

2. I'm already in a snit of a mood tonight...

so I think I'll pass reading it. Goddess, how many fucking years is this topic going to be discussed? Everything is one big fat deja vu of the '60's and '70's. It's like watching reruns of 'Three's Company.'

It's a fucking shame that jobs women typically have do not pay enough so they can avoid the damn sex 'industry.'

I think I'll just go to bed....and think dream of reincarnation to a unisex planet.

[ismnotwasm]

3. Yikes.

Well, bear with me and I'll tell you a story. I've posted this here and there over my time on DU.


My introduction to sex work was through sex workers. I saw enough at a fairly young age--14, to decide I'd rather be a pimp than a prostitute, but I digress.

When I was a young runaway, I hit the streets. My best friend, who augmented his income by selling sex introduced me to who would be my friends and my protectors were the young male prostitutes working the street. Over time I met the females of course.

Nearly all those young men died mostly of AIDS. Many of the females ended up in prison, on drugs or dead. Suicide was--and is-- common. I remember those old (to me then) fucks with wives and kids at home picking up 15 year old boys. The lucky or attractive ones would find a sugar daddy to put them up in an apartment. (Big party days back them) Female prostitutes at the time, had the lofty goal of getting a "book" of regulars, so they didn't have to work the street. Occasionally, they to would get a sugar daddy. But the end result of degradation, disease and death for most was the same.

This was many years ago. At one time, and for a long time, I thought as you did about the sex industry, until I took a long hard look at who it benefited. Female or male sex workers are for the benefit of the patriarchal male, who demands sexual access 24/7. Females, through the hard fought gains of feminism, have tried to "empower" themselves with a "my body my choice" type of justification for sex work.
In my opinion our sexuality is a broken paradigm. Women are still madonna/whores, wives, mothers or sluts. Or in the "I'd hit it" category if attractive enough. Sex worker HAVE to work inside this paradigm, HAVE to work inside the existing psycho/social structure of patriarchy. I believe, as other radical feminist do, that prostitution should be decriminalized, and those who try to procure sex for money should be prosecuted. Let the johns rot in jail for a while. Let those who degrade women into little more than separate orifices pay the price. They countries where selling sex is legal, STILL have the same problems as the ones that don't.

See, those defending sex work tend to ignore history. I lived through a very small part of it. The successful sex worker is always climbing over the backs of the fallen, the ones who couldn't cut it, the ones who are ashamed. The shame comes from patriarchy as well. Who decided women are weak, sinful, dirty, bad, smelly, stupid, unable to control themselves?

I've read around here that there are those who think sex work is just "making people happy" They haven't been-or have chosen to ignore, on the pimp side, the exploitative side, or heard the conversations of men who really hate women, while needing them. Ugly.
Then there is globalization. The world sex trade. The article is from Canada, a fat, wealthy country. There are countries around the world where there is no option for women. No rights.
All women are my sisters, not just those who live in wealthy countries, and can write (actually rewrite, this topic had been tossed around a while) articles on how to "fix" the sex industry. In these countries, where the sex industry is huge, and is often supported by first world males, there is no fix. Only terrible stories.

In MY perfect world, no one would ever have to "pay" for sex. We would understand ourselves and each other enough to see sex as a mutual gift. We would be able to put sex in as a loving, enjoyable, hilarious, sometimes transcendent activity, that isn't the first priority of the world.

I know I didn't really address the article well, but I did read it. I'd appreciate YOUR thoughts on this.

[lightningandsnow]

4. I think you're right on some things.

The article definetly didn't present a global perspective. I'm not sure it was intended to. But you're right, it did leave out the situation in other parts of the world.

It did, however, recognize that there are women (and men) who don't want to be involved in prostitution - and of course, people who aren't consensually or willingly there should be offered a way out. That being said - as the article says, there are people who are sex workers because they want to. Why they want to is a whole other story - you could talk about power structures and sexism. And definetly, a lot of johns are sexist, even violent, which is why sex workers could really benefit from some legal protections (i.e nor having to worry about being charged with "bawdy-house" or "soliciting" offences if they report a rape). And, I suppose, in a perfect world, people wouldn't need to buy sex. But we don't live in a perfect world - so we really have to work with what we have, and make it as safe and enjoyable for everyone as we (realistically) can.

However, I have a problem with dictating what people can and can't do sexually, as long as it's safe, consensual, and honest to all parties involved. So if someone wants to pay for sex, who am I to tell them that's wrong? I can't, with a clear conscience, support legislation that dictates people's morality like that.

It's a tough situation either way.

[ismnotwasm]

5. It is a tough situation

And I appreciate the efforts of sex worker advocates who are involved with or start outreach programs, and not from a moralistic stand point, but for health and safety.

An interesting book, called "Unbound Feet" tells the story of the first female Chinese immigrants, (the author, Judy Yung, used the female immigrants of San Francisco to tell their story) most of whom were forced into prostitution between racist immigration laws in the US and incredible corruption in China. A near underground movement by Protestant women was started, getting these women out. As a side consequence, many of these women converted to Christianity, partly because those women were the ones listening, and the only ones who cared.

The history of prostitution is long and sad. You can go back far enough and find hints of Gilgamesh type "sacred temple prostitute" where it was an honor rather than a forced choice or no other choice situation, but the actual details are sketchy and open to question. Mostly sex work involves women who are initially poor. There are always exceptions of course.

And it's not that you can't make a lot of money, and be happy doing it, but the lifestyle tends toward overglamerization of everything you can buy, not just sex. So sex as a commodity bugs me, and happens to bug me a lot more that our typical crass commercialism. Sex is such a powerful force, the opportunities to exploit just aren't going to go away with legalization. I've met far more unhappy hookers than happy ones.

What I wonder is, if the playing field was truly even between men and women, would women be as interested in sex work? By even playing field I mean everything from how we judge our selves intellectually, emotionally, morally, physically and sexually to what we choose to do for a living. There are ridiculous social darwinism theories on how we evolved our brains and our sexuality, most studies until very recently have been done by men entrenched in white male privilege. (These are the type of studies which will "defend" rape as a relevant adaptation)

I think the women who are trying to evolve and defend sex work are in their way fighting this type of thinking, this "Me Man, you Woman" bullshit by saying "I'm here, I'm a sexual being, and I control my sexuality.

I feel it's misguided,(kind of from a been there, done that attitude) but you gotta start somewhere.

My bottom line is always health and safety. Always. I can't control the choices people make, but I do try to do my part to reach the unreachable, to be a non-judgmental resource when it's required. Happy hookers don't need me. The ones who are being damaged, feel helpless, or feel their is no way out, on occasion, do.

[ismnotwasm]

8. And speaking of male dominated studies:

(Even though I'm sure there were women involved in this research, but it's such a typical male thought pattern conclusion)
Study: Monkeys 'pay' for sex by grooming


"SINGAPORE - Male macaque monkeys pay for sex by grooming females, according to a recent study that suggests the primates may treat sex as a commodity.

"In primate societies, grooming is the underlying fabric of it all," Dr. Michael Gumert, a primatologist at the Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, said in a telephone interview Saturday.

"It's a sign of friendship and family, and it's also something that can be exchanged for sexual services," Gumert said."

This is the zinger;
"Gumert found after a male grooms a female, the likelihood that she will engage in sexual activity with the male was about three times more than if the grooming had not occurred."

Fuck that. I'M friggin' three more times likely to engage in sexual activity with proper foreplay. Keep on groomin' baby...

Dumbasses.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22516331/

[mrreowwr_kittty]

9. These pseudo-scientists will turn anything into a reason to bolster the patriarchy

You're right, the grooming is more analogous to foreplay* than a transaction.


*Actually hate that term because it implies that the part of sex where the woman gets the most pleasure can be easily dispensed with.

[ismnotwasm]

10. Good point

I was actually trying to think of a different word, but it was the closest I could come up with.

[ThomCat]

11. I read about that study at either Reddit or Digg

and I remember thinking, "So, if guys engage in social activitities they're more likely to have sex than if they're anti-social. Big fucking deal."
:shrug:

But if the conclusion had been stated that way it wouldn't have made headlines.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

7. No one "needs" to buy sex. No one.

Yes, there are people who, for whatever reason, aren't able to attract sex partners. Too bad. So far, I haven't been able to attract millions of dollars, along with rainbows and happy fairies strewing rosepetals everywhere I go. And I don't feel entitled to demand an entire industry cater to my delusional fantasies of power. I don't get to decide that certain people exist purely for me to demean and denigrate and to be depositories for my bodily fluids. I don't get to rent another human being for an hour so that I can project my loathing or loneliness onto them.

Basic human decency issues aside, IMO the sex industry also enables the men who use it to avoid the effort of making themselves desireable to a partner, or to doing the necessary work on their relationships. Most women, with scant few exceptions, don't have this option. If we women can't get a date or get laid, it's incumbent upon us to self-improve. If we are unable to comply with the increasingly stringent and arbitrary standards of sexual desireability, we're just shit-out-of-luck for a sex partner.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

6. I'd like to offer one solution. It goes like this:

Dude, you have a hand. Here's some lube. You're not entitled to the use of another human being to relieve yourself. Got it?


Obviously there are some ramifications to any attempt to impose this via the law, but that's the operating theory.