Anyone Here Avoid Doing Anything Because Men Won't Like It?

[we can do it]

Like taking a certain job, getting your hair cut, wearing sensible shoes, dressing for the weather (hey its cold here in Ohio), not wearing make-up, working out in the gym?
This just amazes me....Can you imagine a man saying to another man, I better not wear these pants that show my butt crack when I bend over, women might not like it?

:shrug:

[StellaBlue]

1. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

No.

[politicat]

2. No.

The only person whose opinion on such matters even gets consideration is the person with whom I'm sleeping with and sharing a life. When my late girlfriend was alive, I respected her wishes if she felt strongly about something (but still sometimes disagreed with her) and now my husband gets a similar consideration.

Oh, and my doctor. He told me to wear sensible shoes until my knees are totally repaired and he's right.

[cally]

3. No, but I often feel constrained by safety

I avoid going to the office when I know noone is around, walking at night alone, hiking alone, stuff like that.

[Kerrytravelers]

4. I'm with you. I'm small and easy overpowered.

And I hate that I have to change my wishes because if something happened to me, I would be the one whose choices would be in question... not the attacker.

[we can do it]

5. Those Are Good Reasons

I do often hike and run alone, and I used to start work at 6 am - the building had security but I still had to walk from my car. I always parked where i could see everything surrounding my car.

[Hello_Kitty]

6. Yeah, that right there

I hate having to curtail my activities like that, but there's really no choice is there?

[Warpy]

13. Right, that's the reason most women sef-censor their behavior

It's a constantly nagging fear in the background that no man will ever face unless he becomes one of the frail elderly, and then it's only his wallet that will be endangered, not his psyche or his life.

There are men out there who like nothing more than hurting women, and there are a lot of them. Men never take any of this seriously and refuse to deal with their predatory brothers until a woman is injured badly enough by one of them to require emergency treatment or she is killed by one of them.

The upside for men is that they get a population of breeders who look to them for protection and will moderate their behavior to get it, nice tame women. The down side is that no woman will ever fully trust them, something they notice and feel but rarely admit.

[geniph]

7. ME?!

Are you frelling kidding? If I think it might annoy the type of guys I want to annoy, you'd better believe I'll be doing it every chance I get. I'm not the youngest of 13 for nothing. I know how to be pesty!

I do throw away my really ratty, ragged, stained undies - even when they're comfortable - because my husband hates 'em, but he throws his ratty ones away because I don't like 'em, so that seems fair to me.

[bleedingheart]

19. I have to agree...I will do stuff just to aggravate people who judge me

as for undies...I got a few pairs of "granny" panties when I had my c-sections so that the waist line was above the scar as it healed...I held on to those for a while...and they drove my husband nuts...so I kept them around forever until the waistband deteriorated....hahahahah!

[ismnotwasm]

8. Naw

I learned to please myself. Men and some of their expectations are just silly. Not to mention useless and in my way.

[we can do it]

21. Always In the Way, Bent Over Butt-Crack Showing

Always offering their unwanted opinions.....who cares what you think about my outfit, hair whatever dude - you obviously don't give a rat's ass what women think about you or you would have brushed you teeth, taken a shower, kept your stupid opinion to yourself.....

[smirkymonkey]

23. Exactly, I find that the older I get, the less I give a shit about what

men want. If I can't be myself w/ someone, they aren't worth being with. I am fairly feminine by nature, but I dress comfortably, don't wear much makeup and have to wear comfortable shoes because of foot problems. I refuse to jump through these ridiculous hoops just to increase my chances of getting a man I don't want anyway.

We need to stop living for the benefit of men, and start living for ourselves. Nothing destroys a woman's spirit more than living under the tyranny of men's ridiculous, childish, ego-boosting, narrow standards of what a "real woman" should be and look like. I have no use for such bullshit.

[Nikia]

9. I shave my legs when wearing shorts

And weekly when I don't. I also shave my arm pits. I think that I do it more for society in general. My mother-in-law would be horrified if I was with in her public wearing shorts with hairy legs.
My superviser, at my first job after college, said that I talk with a slightly different voice to men and that I need to quit doing that. I don't know if I quit doing that or not because I hadn't talked differently consciously.

[cally]

10. I shaved my legs for my first job after college

Mostly because I was worried how others would perceive me. Culture is just strange at times. When I went to school, it was seen as selling out to shave your legs and then across the country I tried to fit in. I was young and who knows what I really wanted. Now, I'm not that concerned.

[we can do it]

15. Thats Funny - Last Winter I Forgot About Shaving My Legs For 2 Months...

No One Cared! I even go work out at our 5-6 nights a week and haven't had one weird look.

[Katherine Brengle]

26. I shave, but not for anyone else!

I just prefer it. Definitely not something anyone should do because they feel compelled to.

[femrap]

11. They don't like to be poisoned when I cook so I don't

poison them. lol.

[atommom]

14. That sounds like a reasonable concession to make.

You know, as long as they're behaving themselves! ;) As for the other stuff ... dressing and acting and eating the way men would like ... I don't do that. I picked up on the subliminal "girly" messages when I was growing up, but instead of absorbing them I got irritated and decided to ignore them. If my husband minds, he knows better than to say so. He did, after all, fall for me because I was "different." ;)

[Hello_Kitty]

12. Ok I just thought of the big obvious one

EATING!!

At various times in my life, in order to fit a feminine ideal and appease the men in my life I admit to the following:

Daintily picking at my meal so as to appear "ladylike".

Leaving half my food on the plate, though I wanted to finish it.

"Apologizing" for being hungry, taking seconds, ordering dessert, etc. Usually accompanied by the promise that I'd "be good" or "work out extra hard" tomorrow.

Avoiding eating at all around others, particularly men.

Making sure I eat less than the guys when the company orders pizza or subs for a meeting. (Ugh...I STILL do this one! :blush: )

Going on a crash diet because a guy I was crushing on said that I was a bit on the "thick" side. (Double ugh...I went on to get into a relationship with said asshole during which time it became quickly apparent that he was a raging control freak. Go figure.)

Failing to confront rude comments about the size, weight, shape, or eating habits of myself or other women.

Making critical comments about other women in the presence of men so that I'd be deemed thinner and more attractive by comparison. DEFINITELY don't do that one anymore.

I could go on...Most of this behavior has subsided greatly but I still struggle with all those things and fret over my weight and what I eat far more than I should.

And for that, I blame the Patriarchy.

[we can do it]

16. I Didn't Even Think of That One, But You Are Right -

I don't do it though - I could not give a shit if someone doesn't care how much eat - especially if I just worked my butt off cooking it!

[Nikia]

17. I developed an eating disorder

I cannot really say that men caused it. It did feel like an accomplishment to be thin though and I felt the need to accomplish something, feeling powerless to accomplish anything else. What man considers it an accomplishment to be underweight or go with very little food? Even women without eating disorders often consider this a big accomplishment.

[Hello_Kitty]

18. Yep.

And what other disease or psychological disorder gets you compliments and admiration? At least in the early stages. Sure, when the anorexic woman becomes painfully thin or the bulimic woman's bingeing and purgeing behavior becomes noticeable people are appalled but it's got to get pretty extreme before that even happens. To be honest with you, most women I know, myself included, have weird eating habits. I envy the rare few who eat what they want and don't think about it. I'm a LOT better than I used to be but for years I was engaged in what was probably a borderline disorder. I didn't throw up but I used diet pills and engaged in many of the familiar whacky eating rituals. Ever seen the movie "Eating"? It came out in the 80s and it featured women sitting around talking about their often tortured relationships with food and their bodies. I recommend it if you haven't because it's probably still relevant.

It just makes me so danged mad that so many of us waste the best part of our lives agonizing over this crap. And for what? Oh yeah, in order to be pleasing to the eyes of the very men who mock us for being silly, weight-obsessed dingbats. :grr:

[we can do it]

20. I Hope You Are Have It Concurred

<What man considers it an accomplishment to be underweight or go with very little food? Even women without eating disorders often consider this a big accomplishment.>

I know that really pisses me off.

[NMMNG]

22. LOL

Never. But then again I'm a lesbian so I may not be the best person to ask. ;-)

[Solly Mack]

24. Yeah, I can really see me doing that

snicker

[spooky3]

25. what amazes me is

when I stop at a store after playing tennis for an hour or two, in baggy sweats, wearing no makeup, men sometimes initiate conversations with me, which rarely happens when I'm "dressed up". When I realized this was happening, it occurred to me that either I'm bad at cleaning up :-) or that dressing up for men is not nearly as important as society would have you believe.

[kitkatrose]

27. Oh, I've noticed that too.

If I look a mess (t-shirt, jeans, weird hair) I get more attention than when I'm dressed to the nines. It's so bizarre. Although, I get more catcalls when I'm dressed up, but it seems like I get more "serious" inquiries when I'm not. Most of them are just a pain in the ass--I don't like being chatted up if I look like a big gray ball.

[we can do it]

28. Same Here - or I'm Buying Plants or Garden Stuff and I'm All Dirty....

Its funny too - at my health club I run/stairmaster and get totally sweaty or work out in the free weights area with the big bubba's - and I am not kidding - the totally most buff cuties always strike up a conversation. Much to the consternation of those overdressed mirror watching babes who do little or nothing......cracks me up.