FDA/USDA: Soylent Green Is People; Risk To Humans "Very Low"

[mhatrw]

http://www.horsesass.org/?p=2867

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Joint Update: FDA/USDA Update on Tainted Soylent Green

The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) continue their investigation of Soylent Green, which has been found to contain people and people-related compounds. Based on information currently available, FDA and USDA believe the likelihood of illness after eating Soylent Green would be very low. The agencies are taking certain actions out of an abundance of caution. As announced on April 26, Soylent Green known to have been adulterated (ie, contaminated with adults) will not be approved to enter the food supply.

As reported on April 22 by FDA, the Agency determined that plankton protein concentrate imported from China was contaminated with people and people-related compounds. As part of the ongoing investigation, FDA has determined the plankton protein was used in the production of Soylent Green.

At this time, we have no evidence of harm to humans associated with the Soylent Green, and therefore no recall of the product is being issued. Testing and the joint investigation continue. If any evidence surfaces to indicate there is harm to humans, the appropriate action will be taken.

The assessment that, if there were to be harm to human health, it would be very low, is based on a number of factors, including the dilution of the contaminating people and people-related compounds from the original plankton protein concentrate as it moves through the food system. First, people are only a partial ingredient in plankton protein concentrate; second, plankton protein concentrate is only a partial ingredient in Soylent Green; third, even if people are present in Soylent Green, Soylent Green is only a small part of the average American diet, which typically also includes Soylent Yellow and Soylent Red. In addition to the dilutional factor, neither FDA nor USDA are aware of any human illness that has occurred from exposure to people or its by-products. While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention systems have limited ability to detect subtle problems due to ingestion of people and people-related compounds, the public should rest assured that no problems have been detected to date. To further evaluate any potential harm to humans, the FDA is developing and implementing further tests and risk assessments based on the toxicity of people, and how much people people could be expected to actually consume.

[SpiralHawk]

1. "Shut up and eat your soylent green food-product facsimile." - Republicon Borg

"It's good for our bottom line. End of discussion." - Republicon corporate Borg

[FightingIrish]

2. Unless you consider "Mad People Disease" a risk

[uppityperson]

3. However, soy sauce made of human hair is yucky.

[Cobalt Violet]

6. Are they making dough softener out of that too?

L-cysteine? I thought that was made out of the human hair too. :shrug:

[DawnIsis]

4. It's fine ladies and gentlemen, keep eating, if we ever do test it's effect on people we'll let you

know but for God's sake don't stop spending your money on these products!

[mhatrw]

8. We don't even know what products the tainted stuff is in. n/t

[waiting for hope]

5. Soylent Green is People!

LOL...:rofl:

[jmowreader]

7. The Truth About Soylent Green

In 2004, pResident George W. Bush signed the "Know What You're Eating Act" which allows producers to use alternate ingredients when making food ingredients, so long as the alternate ingredients are generally accepted as containing constituents substantially similar to the ingredients they are generally replacing.

If that sentence made no sense to you, neither will the Know What You're Eating Act.

Soylent Green has long been labeled as containing "natural complete protein concentrates." While the Soylent Corporation has long suggested that Soylent Green contains plankton and kelp, the Soylent Green ingredients list, which is printed on every package of Soylent Green (note: Soylent Green is always sold in bulk; page 742 of the 1548-page Know What You're Eating Act specifically allows food producers to sell bulk commodities without disclosing the ingredients contained therein; page 965 says the product described in the advertising need not resemble the product sold to the public in any way, shape or form which explains how they've been grinding up rats, pressing them into patties, calling the resulting product "chicken burgers" and getting away with it), clearly states that Soylent Green is made from "natural complete protein concentrates" and "natural plant-based green food coloring."

It is accepted throughout the food-production world that people are naturally high in protein. It is further accepted that people are much higher in protein than are either plankton or kelp, neither of which exists anymore since George W. Bush, upon taking office in 2001, repealed all environmental legislation because he didn't personally need either plankton or kelp so he didn't see any reason why they, as species he couldn't make any money by selling, needed to exist. Therefore, Soylent Green is made out of people, and only out of people.

We have also found that certain of the people who comprise Soylent Green are addicted to various drugs, and may have actually died from taking overdoses of these drugs. That's no problem at all: we sell the Soylent Green made from these people as "special happy Soylent Green." There is an upcharge for Special Happy Soylent Green, but it is by far our largest seller.

You're probably wondering about the natural plant-based green food coloring. We have learned, through a combination of dedicated experimentation and utter carelessness, that if you let a batch of natural complete protein concentrates sit for a couple weeks before it is processed into wafers, it turns green all by itself. Therefore, after processing the people into natural complete protein concentrates, we let it sit out behind the building until it turns a nice bright emerald green. Then we process it into final form and sell it to people who really don't give a shit what's in it so long as it kinda looks like it might be food.

In summation: Soylent Green is moldy people, and it's all Bush's fault.

[Jennicut]

9. I love that movie! My husband's father recommended it.

I saw it about a year or so ago and it blew my mind. "Soylent Green is people!" I 'll never forget that. You know, for a Rethug, Charlton Heston sure starred in some liberal-type movies. The end of Planet of the Apes is really an anti-nuclear protest, as humans blew up part of earth. Soylent Green is really prescient. Who knows what we are eating these days? As a diabetic, I have to read every label carefully and the stuff in a lot of food I can't even recognize half the time.

[undergroundpanther]

11. The book is even better

IF you can FIND it.Been looking for it for years now.It's out of print.I read half of soylent 25 years ago.And saw the movie a few times,But the book still kicks ass over the movie and I never got to read the end 'cause a few pages before and the last two chapters was missing Arrgh!.

[cascadiance]

12. It's starting to gain the prescience that Gattaca has!

Though one would argue that if Gattaca were really to become reality, perhaps at least we would have been saved from Sir Monkeysuit we have in office now! Not even substituting blood for his blood tests would keep him from being spotted as subhuman!

I also liked Heston in the Omega Man too! Really a slam against fundies too!

[Ilsa]

13. No one would believe that Babs could have a "love child".

GATTACA was a cool movie. My husband didn't recognize the significance of the name. I liked Omega Man also. He even went interracial in that one.

[tavalon]

10. While this is good satire

Did you happen to hear about the soy sauce. If you haven't, you probably don't want to. It makes your satire, well, less satirical.

[Up2Late]

14. Did anyone here happen to catch the NPR "Weekend Edition Sunday" sponsor message on April 1, 2007???

From The Soylent Corporation!?!

If not, you gotta hear this, it was so slick the way they added this at the end of their annual April Fools joke story!

Here's the link:

Letters: April Fools!

Listen to this story...(at link)

Weekend Edition Sunday, April 8, 2007 · Liane Hansen reads
excerpts from listeners' letters regarding last week's April Fools' Day segments.
Yes, that story about a cell-phone ringtone initiative in
New York City was a hoax. And so was the funder for Soylent Green.

<http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9458666>