Reply #9: A few thoughts [View All]

[frustrated_lefty]

Personally, I love it. To be more effective, though, you might consider removing the "Vacation with the President" and "Impeach Bush Tour" lines. Instead of "Vacation with the President," you might say "Support the Grieving Mothers of America." Instead of "Impeach Bush Tour," you might say "Protect Our Liberties."

Your work is really well done, but I think your message is diluted. I see three messages which aren't clearly enough linked to make immediate sense to your average passerby. 1) The war sucks, and here's why. 2) Bush sucks. It sounds like personal bias, without foundation. I know 1) leads to 2), but as a teacher, I promise you most students really need to be led by the hand to make the necessary connections. I think bringing Bush, by name, into your flyer is probably not the best of ideas, gratifying that it may be. 3) Cindy Sheehan is doing this cool stuff. Not enough detail. You fail to mention her son died there. You don't mention the abuses the "Crawford Five" are currently undergoing. You don't mention that, for example, the KKK can congregate in public, but a grieving mother is a threat to national security.

I'm sorry if this seems overly critical. It's not meant to be, I'm simply trying to help you make your message as effective as possible.

FL