Reply #114: COBOL terms, anyone? [View All]

[Sapphocrat]

(Forgive the shaky code -- it's been a while.)

IDENTIFICATION DIVISION
PROGRAM-ID. MAKE-WAR-NOT-SENSE.
AUTHOR. KARL ROVE.
SOURCE. DICK CHENEY.
ENVIRONMENT DIVISION.
INPUT-OUTPUT SECTION.
FILE-CONTROL.
   SELECT PREFAB-PROPAGANDA ASSIGN TO INPUT.
   SELECT TALKING-POINTS ASSIGN TO OUTPUT.
DATA DIVISION.
FILE SECTION.
FD PREFAB-PROPAGANDA LABEL RECORD IS OMITTED.
01 BULLSHIT-RECORD
   02 TALKING-POINT-OF-THE-DAY PICTURE X(30).
   02 POINTLESS-FILLER PICTURE X(44).
FD TALKING-POINTS LABEL RECORD IS OMITTED.
01 RESULT-LINE PICTURE X(132).
WORKING-STORAGE SECTION.
77 COUNT-HOW-MANY-TIMES-HE-CAN-DO-THIS-BEFORE-IMPLODING PICTURE 9999, VALUE 0, USAGE IS COMPUTATIONAL.
01 SOUND-BYTE-LINE.
   02 POINTLESS-FILLER VALUE ' SUM ='PICTURE X(12).
   02 POINTLESS-FILLER VALUE ' NO. OF ITEMS ='PICTURE X(21).
01 TALKING-POINT-OF-THE-DAY-LINE.
   02 TALKING-POINT-OF-THE-DAY-OUT PICTURE X(30).
   02 DEATH-TOLL-DOWNPLAY-OUT PICTURE ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ9.99.
PROCEDURE DIVISION.
START.
    OPEN INPUT PREFAB-PROPAGANDA AND OUTPUT TALKING-POINTS.
READ-DATA.
    READ PREFAB-PROPAGANDA AT END GO TO PRINT-SMIRK-LINE.
    ADD DEATH-TOLL-DOWNPLAY TO HIDDEN-CASKETS-TOTAL.
    ADD 1 TO COUNT-HOW-MANY-TIMES-HE-CAN-DO-THIS-BEFORE-IMPLODING.
    MOVE DEATH-TOLL-DOWNPLAY TO DEATH-TOLL-DOWNPLAY-OUT.
    MOVE TALKING-POINT-OF-THE-DAY TO TALKING-POINT-OF-THE-DAY-OUT.
    WRITE RESULT-LINE FROM TALKING-POINT-OF-THE-DAY-LINE.
    GO TO READ-DATA.
PRINT-SMIRK-LINE.
    MOVE HIDDEN-CASKETS-TOTAL TO FALSE-APPRECIATION-FOR-THEIR-SACRIFICES-OUT.
    MOVE COUNT-HOW-MANY-TIMES-HE-CAN-DO-THIS-BEFORE-IMPLODING TO TICKING-TIME-BOMB-OUT.
    WRITE RESULT-LINE FROM SOUND-BYTE-LINE.
    CLOSE PREFAB-PROPAGANDA AND TALKING-POINTS.
    GO TO READ-DATA.
// NO 'STOP RUN'; REPEAT UNTIL MELTDOWN.