Reply #7: It's hard to state a formula [View All]

[SheilaT]

of driving time here.

I always made it clear that driving is a privilege, not a right. He attends an upscale private secular school where far too many kids are given a brand new car upon getting their driver's license, which here in Kansas is at age 15. I know, appalling, isn't it.

My rule was always that you get a permit at 16, and get the license at 17. Which means he had a full year of driving under supervision before getting the license.

I was just never afraid to tell him (and I'm still not, if he's driving when I'm in the car with him) that I didn't like some maneuver of his. I've more than once made him turn the driving over to me.

So if he does something obviously dangerous and stupid, that's it. He doesn't drive the rest of the day.

I've told my kid more than once that if he ever has an accident he's not driving for a very long time afterward.

A lot of parents seem to assume that wrecking a car or two is a normal part of learning to drive. I can't even begin to imagine that attitude. He will probably be acquiring a car for his own use by the time school starts. He's going to be a senior and while I have no problem with his being driven to school every day all his senior year, I'm going to be too busy this fall (I'm running for office) to really be able to do that.

So stick to your guns, and don't hesitate to temporarily shut down driving privileges. Also, are you the one in charge of when he gets the license? If so, delay it as long as possible, until 17th birthday if possible.

I could really tell that by making my son wait until age 16 to get behind the wheel, he had much more respect for the car, and how really big and potentially dangerous it is. And the car in question is a Subaru Outback, not even a huge SUV.

Good luck.