Reply #5: Dichotomy of thoughts here. [View All]

[SarahB]

It's strange because for the most part, I feel comfortable with myself and enough people tell me I'm cute (youngish face, already curvy and such), so I must be, but one little thing that bugs me is how my tummy is different after having children. Not horrible, but not the same and it can't quite be exercised away. I have this need and expectation of myself to be "perfect" (I don't even mean simply physically) which is something I try to work on as it's impossible for anyone to live up to this unattainable image (very aware of all the childhood stuff of where it comes from too). Maybe it's just that I know my marriage is ending and inevitably.....eventually, I probably will be intimate with someone else and I wonder sometimes with everything our culture hands out, do most men expect perfection?

On the other hand, any man who would expect some perfect, plastic person is not someone I'd want to be with either, so while in a way it would make me feel better, I'd rather just be me knowing I'm loved for who I am. Plus too, I don't have any big urges to spawn again anytime soon, but I could conceive of being open to it once more in a different set of circumstances. I still have at least a good 10 fertile years left and one never knows what life has in store. It would be just my luck, I've save up for a tummy tuck, do it, and end up preggers again.