Reply #8: amends can be made a lot of ways [View All]

[Kire]

It can be financial restitution, it can be an explanation (or asking for one) usually accompanied by a hear-felt apology, it can be no further contact whatsoever (if such contact could harm self or others), or it can be a self-deprecating joke, or a combination (this is not an exhaustive list)

but it can't be forced on you -- he can offer the amends, but it is up to you to accept it or not

it always depends on what he did to you in the first place, without knowing that I couldn't imagine what you might expect, in fact, the best amends are surprises

Beware of fake amends. If somebody tells you that they have made amends to you, and you don't feel like they have, well, they haven't.

It's best to get on with your own life and be open to this person when they approach you. But, if you feel like what they did to you is so bad that you or he, or someone else will get hurt, then you might have to tell him to leave you alone. Even if he offers to make amends, and you accept it, doesn't mean that's the end of it, either. It's a relationship, and bad shit can still happen. Be vigilant.

Good luck.