Reply #31: Both people have to be exactly on the same wavelength... [View All]

[Sufi Marmot]

FWB can work well if both people are on the same wavelength regarding their expectations about the situation. I suspect it helps if the two people involved don't necessarily have a close emotional bond, but rather a more casual enjoyment of each other's company, along with mutual respect. I never enter a FWB situation with someone I'm likely to fall in love with, but I have to like the person on some level. You also have to make things clear up front, for instance, if one party wants to start seeing someone else or finds Mr./Ms. Right, then the relationship ends cordially and painlessly. "Thanks for the fun and the memories...", and so on...I'm also very explicit up front that I'm looking for FWB and not a significant other, and I avoid getting involved with people who I suspect want more than I can offer.

As I'm getting older I find that FWB is a useful and enjoyable short term solution, but it's not emotionally (or for me even physically) satisfying over the long term, and I doubt I could sustain such a relationship for more than a year. FWB for me certainly isn't as satisfying as being in a serious relationship...

-SM, a romantic at heart...