Reply #8: Would you believe that in my 53 years I have never had this problem? [View All]

[Floogeldy]

It is true. Perhaps I am blessed with a gift. I think I kind of have a radar for the kind of person you are describing. My approach?

I care about them. I talk to them about themselves. I probe and encourage. I be understanding. I am supportive. I am sympathetic. I get on their side and, usually as a consequence, they get on my side. It is a difficult thing to explain. There are ways of disarming people by talking to them, understanding them, appreciating them, and being their friend. And all of this combined with kind frankness. I don't know what else to say other than that if you are so at odds with this person, there may be enough blame to go around to both of you. Honesty mixed with compassion really works.

I am not talking about rolling over and laying down for these kind of people. I'm talking about very subtle communication, firmness and a positive attitude.

Again, it is very difficult to explain. I have worked with people who I knew would turn on me in a second. I managed to make them my best friends. Don't be defensive. If you are confident in yourself, you can put their needs before yours and reap great rewards.

I tried.