Black friday update: the registers were fucked up, couldn't do returns, and I got yelled at. [View All]

[LeftyMom]

We ran out of half the stuff in the ad within fifteen minutes of opening the doors and I got yelled at. We ran out of ads, carts, patience and giveadamn before the sun came up and I got yelled at.

So here's my plan for next year (assuming I'm not doing something that involves less getting yelled at):

1. People who expect to get everything on their list on Black Friday will be institutionalized for their own protection.

2. Free Xanax to the first thousand families through the door.

3. Return policy will be amended to reflect the following: if you show up bright and early on Black Friday to do a return :WTF: we will point at you and laugh. Come back during normal business hours, ideally on another day, idjit.

4. If you call at five am and try to get me to put a sale item on hold for you, I will give the caffinnated masses outside the store your address and let them deal with you.