I received a box of pork byproducts for Christmas! [View All]

[jmowreader]

This morning my boss passed out our...well, he called them Christmas presents.

My boss has a thoroughly twisted sense of humor.

LeftyMom, please open another thread now. You will thank me later.

I have the box with me now. In it are:

One package of souse. Contents: pork skins, water, pork tongues, pork snouts, vinegar, salt, flavorings, MSG and sodium nitrite.
One package of pork fatback. Contents: strips of lard, water, salt, sugar, sodium phosphates, sodium erythorbate, sodium nitrite.
One very small package of cooked-ham lunch meat.
One pound hot dogs.
One pound baloney.
One package of smoked sausage. Contents: pork, turkey hearts, beef, pork stomachs, pork snouts, pork hearts, water, nonfat dry milk, soy protein concentrate, flavorings, sodium phosphate, sugar, dextrose, sodium erythorbate, MSG, sodium nitrite. (This sausage is pretty good; I've eaten it before.)
One package of pudding. Contents: pork spleens, water, pork liver, pork trimmings, corn meal, pork skins, dehydrated onions, pork fat, salt, sage and spices.

I'm sitting here on this box of...well, I guess it's supposed to be meat...that's about half a step removed from haggis wondering what in fuck I'm supposed to do with it. This shit is guaranteed lethal to anyone born two inches north of the Mason-Dixon Line. I'm not even sure the dog will eat it; I know the cats will not.

It's not all bad, though; he DID give everyone $200 per year, or partial year, they'd been employed with the company as a Christmas bonus.