Reply #2: A three-axis board stretcher [View All]

[jmowreader]

Did you cut that board an inch too short? A 2x6 not quite wide enough? Need some 3/4" plywood and all they've got is half-inch? Just stick the offending piece in your Three-Axis Board Stretcher, key in the dimensions you need, and large hydraulic cylinders stretch the board to the exact size you requested.

I also need a bullshit attenuator and a bullshit inverter. Remember a little while back, when Shrub presented the 2008 Concentrated Pack of Lies (aka the State of the Union Address)? The liberal of today rolled his eyes back so far he can see behind him now and there's no real way to fix him again. (The liberal, not Bush. Shrub is beyond hope.) The liberal equipped with a bullshit attenuator and a bullshit inverter could have first toned down the BS, then with the flip of a switch caused Bush to speak the truth for once. Of course, if forced to tell the truth George would probably explode on stage like the drummer from Spinal Tap...