Reply #2: My husband and I don't fall into most gender roles [View All]

[geniph]

Whether that's because I'm peculiar and stubborn, or whether it's because we're both bisexual and comfortable with a certain amount of fluidity, I don't know. But he cooks, I do the dishes, we both do laundry, he does almost all the grocery shopping, I fix anything electronic including the computers, etc. There's certain places where we fall into the more "traditional" roles simply because it makes physical sense. I'm 5'2" and 115 lbs., he's 6'2", 250 lbs., and immensely strong, so if it requires physical strength or height, he's more likely to do it. On the other hand, if something needs doing in the crawlspace or on the roof, I do it. I'm less squeamish of spiders than he is (he HATES the crawlspace because of the spiders, whereas they don't much bother me). We split the yardwork except for the actual flower garden, which is my problem (we both truly hate yardwork and gardening, but I know more about plants than he does). He does do all the major maintenance and repairs, because he's a professional carpenter - he's a lot better at it than I am. That's why I fix the computers - that's my profession. I do almost all the housecleaning. He's responsible for anything to do with the kids - they're his kids. We each do our own finances - I don't believe in combining finances if you can help it. If you each deal with your own money and your own bills, it makes for far fewer fights over money in a marriage. We each do part of the taxes; I do the regular household taxes and he does the Schedule C part that pertains to his business.

We confuse people, because I look like a delicate little flower and he's this big beefy construction worker - but he also does all the home decorating. I have no taste. He picks out most of my clothes, too, as he's a better dresser than I am. I'm just not good at girly stuff! But I do do the pants-hemming and sewing-on-of-buttons, because I'm slightly better at it (although neither of us can actually sew). We never can get it right when we dance. We both try to lead. ;-)

When he was married to his first wife, they fell into more traditional gender roles, and he hated it. My first husband wanted more traditional gender roles, except for cooking (anyone who likes to eat will not pressure me to cook after they've tasted the results - I'm just not interested in food), but didn't get it. My ex-husband has fallen into VERY traditional roles with his second wife.